ANGELS AT WAR

CHAPTER 13

ARCHANGEL QUERIDA

THROUGH THE LORD’S MERCIES WE ARE NOT CONSUMED, BECAUSE HIS COMPASSIONS FAIL NOT. THEY ARE NEW EVERY MORNING. GREAT IS YOUR FAITHFULNESS. (Lamentations 3:22, 23)

            “Poor Jimmy,” Vermillion mocked. “So new to love and it happens with two women simultaneously. Yet one is likely pregnant by another guy, and the other just related an ugly story he will never forget. Not only the words of the horrific tale, but the tremble of her body with the snot and slobber coming from her pretty face slimming onto his shirt. Look at his body language and how much he’d like to push her away.”

            “But he isn’t pushing her away,” I responded. We watched as he hugged her tighter and kissed the top of her head. She pushed away and looked at him. He pulled his t-shirt up and wiped the tears from her eyes, the mucus from her nose, and saliva from her chin.

            “I’m sorry,” she lamented. “I’m so disgusting.”

            “No big deal, it’s just an old t-shirt” he said with a gentle laugh.    

            “I don’t just mean your shirt.”

            “What happened to you wasn’t your fault.”

            “How can you say that? I drank more than I should have. I flirted and teased inappropriately.”

            “And that gave those guys the right to violate you?”

            Lucy just looked at him with a bewildered expression. So he continued, “I’ve actually been hot and heavy with women before and they have said no. And I respected that no means no. So I’m not gonna excuse those guys even a little bit.”

            “You actually told Lexi no,” Lucy said. He nodded. So she asked, “Was that hard?”

            “It wasn’t easy,” he admitted. “But on the other hand, it was easier than being told no.”

            “Was that the only time you told a girl no?”

            He thought of Jenny and the night she seduced him. He had tried to tell her no for her own sake, but his desire for her overcame his will to behave. “Not exactly. But Lexi was the first time I followed through.”

            “For what it’s worth, it really, really impressed me.”

            He shrugged.

            “I don’t know if I was more pleased because I was jealous,” she continued. “Or because you seemed to have integrity.”

            “You were jealous?” he asked with both a frown and smile.

            “Yes,” she said utterly serious. “I’ve had a bit of a crush on you ever since you moved into this mobile home court last year. Then Lexi started talking about you and how much you were frustrating her. She had never had a guy play hard to get before.”

            “In all honesty, until a few days ago I didn’t know your name. But you and your moped do seem familiar. But now that I know you, I have a bit of crush on you as well.”

            Jimmy frowned. Should he be telling a girl that he had a crush on her when he had a girlfriend? Did he have a girlfriend? Should a girlfriend be making dinner for another man? The other man was likely the grandfather of the baby she was carrying. The other man was a guy she did “stuff with” before she became involved with his son. How was it his love life was never more complicated? He was trying to do right, but everything seemed all wrong.

            “Really? You have a crush on me even after what I told you?”

            “Like I said, it wasn’t your fault. But even if you felt that you played a role in what happened. If I’ve learned anything from these Bible meetings, it’s that God can forgive anything.”

            “Would you believe I’ve never even kissed a guy?”

            “You hang out with Lexi’s gang, and you haven’t dated or fooled around?”

            “The boy that lived next door to me before we moved into the mobile home court has been my boyfriend for almost two years. He’s a year older than me.”

            “You’ve had a boyfriend for two years and you’ve never kissed?”

            “He’s gay, in the closet, and I’m his mask. He’s been with his boyfriend even before we started pretending. It’s worked for me as well. No one pressures me to fool around with guys. They assume I’ve been having regular sex with my so called boyfriend.

            “I see.”

            Lucy’s eyes looked startled. “Opps! I just told you another secret!”

            “You never said his name.”

            “It wouldn’t be hard to find out. Lexi or Amy or any of them could tell you who he is.”

            “Who would I tell?”

            “Your girlfriend,” she replied, but Jimmy waved a dismissive hand. She gave him a little shove. “You need to tell me a secret.”

            “Oh, come on, what, are we in junior high school?”

            She took hold of his hands, and he was surprised at how natural it felt. “Please. Surely a guy like you has some secrets.”

            “A guy like me, what’s that supposed to mean?”

            “I happen to know through Lexi’s infatuation with you, that you were a player. That’s one of the reasons she felt frustrated by your rejection. It was like, what’s wrong with me that I’m not good enough for a womanizer like Jimmy Stetson?”

            “I resent that implication.”

            “You earned it. Now tell me a secret.”

            “Jenny’s pregnant.”

            She dropped her hands from his as a stunned expression came over her face. “Your girlfriend is pregnant?”

            He explained the scenario of him becoming reacquainted with Jenny and how she came to be with child.

            “Wow! So the baby likely isn’t even yours, but you’re gonna treat it as if it is?”

            “We’ll see,” he said with a shrug. That had been his original plan, but so much seemed up in the air now. His old lifestyle. The new direction he seemed to be heading with his newfound interest in the Bible. Larry nudging back into Jenny’s life. Jenny not seeming all that interested in what they were learning at the Bible meetings. And now this infatuation with Lucy. This desire to protect her, which felt similar to his desire to protect Jenny.

            Lucy looked over his shoulder into the distance. She wore a vacant expression. Then her brown eyes with gold flecks took on a glassy, watery appearance. Jimmy waited and she eventually looked at him. “Can I tell you another secret?”

            “Sure,” he replied quietly.

            “Those guys in Florida,” she said and then paused.

            She seemed to be waiting for a response, so he replied, “A huh.”

            “They didn’t use protection.”

            His first thought was an STD. But when the tears spilled from her eyes, he knew what was about to come out of her mouth. “I got pregnant.”

            He uneasily stuffed his hands into the back pockets of his jeans. “I see… When is it due?”

            “There is no due date. I got an abortion.”

            She put her face into her hands and began to sob. He reached to pull her in for a hug but recalled her saying ‘don’t touch.’ But then she said ‘no, do hug me.’ He opted for words instead. “It’s okay.”

            “It’s okay? No, it’s not okay! How can you say getting pregnant by your rapists is okay? How can you say killing your baby is okay?”

            “Poor choice of words,” he replied. “I didn’t know what else to say.”

            “That’s because I’m vile, disgusting and dirty.”

            “No, you’re not!” he said more aggressively than he intended, But it was the right move. She stopped crying and looked at him with wonder. “You were the victim of a violent crime. Don’t give me you teased them and flashed them. Guys go to strippers all the time and don’t track them down and rape them. Remember what the pastor ended with tonight? God’s forgiveness cleanses us.”

            He was encouraged when she nodded slightly. She sat against his Chevy Chevette and began to rummage in her small purse. She pulled out a joint and lit it, inhaling deeply, then coughed.

            “Here we go, Querida,” Vermillion began to boast. “This is where the advantage shifts to me. Get them off track before they get on track.”

            “Maybe,” I admitted, and then paraphrased Philippians 1:6. “But He who began a good work in them will finish it.”

            “Well, my former friend, I’m gonna abort that plan just like Lucy aborted her baby.”

            “They’ve already tasted and seen that the Lord is good.” (Psalm 34:8)

            “Ah, but life is bitter. And complex. Look over there, Querida. Larry is kissing Jenny on the cheek as he leaves. Oops, he caught the corner of her mouth. Hee, hee, hee. With her blush and shy smile, he thinks she caught the corner of his mouth on purpose. Hee, hee, hee. Now he’s kissing her full on the lips. Oh what a good girl, gently pushing him away like that. But her bashful giggle and fluttering eyelids just told him, not now… But maybe.

            “Now let’s see how loosey goosey Lucy and Jimmy get with that little stick of rolled up weed, Querida. Now that Larry’s gone, Jenny wants to make sure everything is good between her Jimmy. Are you gonna stop Jenny? Are you gonna stop Lucy and Jimmy?”

            He knew that I couldn’t stop them. Distract, inspire, impress, yes things like that. He also knew in most ways he had the advantage. His side controlled the wide gate, that most go through. My side controlled the narrow gate which sadly fewer in number find. (See Matthew 7:13, 14)                       

            But when a person submits to God, they are an unstoppable force. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. But the key is submitting to God. (See James 4:7). Unfortunately, for the moment anyway, Lucy and Jimmy were in the process of shutting the door on the light.

            Jimmy had only occasionally smoked marijuana; the last time being more than a year ago. By Lucy’s coughing, he could tell she wasn’t overly experienced herself. He intuited she had only recently started smoking pot to escape the emotional pain from her spring break ordeal.

            She extended the wacky tobacky to Jimmy. He took it and sat next to her. As a cigarette smoker he did not cough after taking a drag. Inebriating substances are a big time deception. The early euphoria is often replaced with addiction. As one Guns-n-Roses song proclaimed, ‘I used to do a little but a little wouldn’t do it so a little got more and more. I just kept trying to get a little better, said a little better than before.’

            “Where did you get this?” Jimmy asked. “You are a feisty little gal, but this does surprise me big time.”

            “It’s a secret. I can’t betray my dealer,” she replied and then giggled. Then he giggled, then they laughed so hard they were rocking two and fro and back and forth. After a few minutes of this, they settled into a mellow zone out for several more minutes.

            Then Lucy hoped up suddenly and declared, “I better go.”

            Jimmy arose as well. “Going to the meeting tomorrow?”

            “A huh.”

            “Why don’t you swing by, and we can ride there together on your moped.”

            This idea gave them another round of laughing. Then she said completely serious, “Maybe you could pick me up.”

            “I better not, I have a girlfriend.”

            “Do you?”

            “I don’t know.” This comment caused yet more chortling.

            “Since you don’t know, would you mind kissing me?”

            “I certainly wouldn’t mind, but I probably shouldn’t.”

            She nodded and he noticed a look of sadness spread into her countenance. He knew what she was thinking. I’m vile, I’m dirty, I’m disgusting. So he said, “One friendly kiss wouldn’t hurt though.”

            He was six foot one compared to her five foot four. So he leaned down and put his lips to hers. He intended it to only be a second long peck. But her arm draped over his neck as he began to pull away. So he kissed her again, and her right arm joined her left. Then his hands went around her waist, and they stayed connected for a minute or two before Jimmy was only vaguely aware of a car approaching.

            The gray Monte Carlo stopped at his driveway, drawing his full attention. He broke the lip lock with Lucy and looked into the surprised face of Jenny, her mouth agape with astonishment.