HEAVY METAL MIRACLES

CHAPTER 12

ARLO ALDO

BEFORE I FORMED YOU IN THE WOMB I KNEW YOU; BEFORE YOU WERE BORN I SANCTIFIED YOU; I ORDAINED YOU A PROPHET TO THE NATIONS (Jeremiah 1:5)

            I had never had such an extreme mood swing in my life! I went from several days of despondency to ecstasy in a matter of minutes. The only reason it took minutes instead of seconds was it was too good to be true, or so it seemed. My mind reeled, processed, and then I felt overwhelming love for a future child and the present mother who carried him.

            Female flesh had never looked so good as I gazed upon Penny’s swollen abdomen. Yet it wasn’t a lustful gaze as I swayed on my knees in front of her. It didn’t help my chaotic mind that I was sleep deprived. I looked up at her and then arose a bit unsteadily. “How do you feel about this?”

            “Freaked out,” Penny replied, strangely matter of fact.

            “That will happen with an unwanted pregnancy,” I told her. My declaration was actually a bit of a test. I liked her response.

            She frowned, and I could see her jaw muscles move briefly before she spoke. “I wouldn’t say it’s unwanted, but more like unexpected.”

            “How come you’re just now telling me?” I asked softly, not wanting her to think I was angry. “Our encounter was four months ago.”

            Her lovely dark eyes widened guiltily. “Arlo, honestly, I just discovered for sure only a little more than a week ago. I meant to tell you several days ago at church. But we were either interrupted or I couldn’t get up the nerve. But I had been in denial, I guess. When I noticed the weight gain, I was sure it was from snacking too much. As far as missing my menstrual cycle, its happened before due to being perimenopausal.”

            “What’s that?”

            “You know, symptoms that some women get before the actual menopause itself. In a nutshell, menopause is a time in a woman’s life when she loses the ability to bare children.”

            “Well, it seems you’re not menopausal yet.”

            “Ya think!” she snapped. Then she sat with a hard thump onto my bed and leaned back on her arms.

            I quickly squatted in front of her and clutched both sides of her belly. “Hey, easy.”

            She chuckled. “Who would have thought the wild he man rock star, Arlo Aldo, would make a loving father? But I think you will.”

            “I appreciate your vote of confidence,” I told her. “Let me ask you this though. What kind of husband do you think I’ll make?”

            “Well, your ex-wife apparently didn’t think you were a very good one,” she blurted.

            That hurt! Penny had a reputation for a sharp tongue, but that was cold. I reeled back and sat down hard myself. Only the floor was much harder than the bed Penny had plopped on to. My sleep deprived brain was jarred. I shook my head, stood abruptly, and downed the rest of my bottle of water. Penny came up behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist in a reverse hug. “Arlo, I’m sorry for that, but I didn’t like the direction you were going. I’m already freaked out about the prospect of motherhood. Bringing up marriage makes me be doubly freaked.”

            I turned and her arms fell by her sides. She did look contrite, so I smiled. “I guess a person reaps what they sow.”

            “What do you mean?”

            I shrugged. “I married Reese without hardly knowing her. Now I was testing the waters with you in the same boat.”

            Her face softened, but her words about my ex were harsh. “I am not the same boat as your ex-wife at all! If I were to take the plunge of marriage, I would die before I betrayed my vows.”

            Her softened face hardened again. Then her eyes welled, and she stomped to the window, abruptly crossing her arms as she gazed out at Mrs. Mendelbright’s backyard. Now I went and reverse hugged her, my hands resting on our child cocooned in her womb. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t comparing you two as people, only thinking about marriage again without knowing someone very well.”

            She turned to face me, and my arms fell by my sides. “It’s not that. After I spoke, I realized what a hypocrite I am.”

            She walked past me and plopped down hard on the bed again. I went and knelt in front of her again and placed my hands on her stomach. “Will you stop being so rough on our baby?”

            She laughed despite a tear running down her cheek. “Arlo, our baby is fine with the way I sat. If I sign up for roller derby, then you can get up tight.”

            I began to gently caress her abdomen. She looked me sternly in the eyes. “Arlo, unless you’re willing to make love, please stop touching me.”

            “That’s why I’m insinuating marriage, Pen. I want to make love with you in the worst way.”

            “Why is it the worst way? Shouldn’t it be the best way?”

            “No, because right now it’s forbidden.”

            “Why, just because we don’t have a legal document or have participated in a ceremony?”

            “It’s more than that. The document and ceremony represent commitment.”

            She sighed. “I know you’re right, but it’s hard to give up the old ways of thinking. The thing is Arlo, and this is full disclosure. I think I’ve always been afraid of commitment. So can you blame me? I mean how long have we known each other?”

            “Twenty three, twenty four years.”

            She laughed. “And with a twenty two and half or twenty three and a half year gap in between. As a matter of fact, I’ve only had one relationship last more than a year.”

            “How much longer than a year?”

            “Two months short of two years.”

            “Hmm, a catch twenty-two.”

            “More than you know.”

            “So what happened?”

            “The person was married, we got found out, and their marriage ended.”

            “So that ended your relationship with him as well?”

            “He didn’t want it to. He wanted me to marry him. But like I said, I feared commitment. Plus, I hated myself for being the other woman. My dad left my mom for a younger woman, and I absolutely despised him for it. So much so I even changed my last name to Balwin because I didn’t want his name attached to me. Then I end up doing the same thing only on the other end.”

            “Let me guess, he was older with a family?”

            She made a pained expression and nodded. “I interned under him in North Dakota. He had two other vets working for him. When my internship was up, I was hired and worked another two years at his clinic. He was handsome like an old time movie star. He reminded me of Cary Grant.”

            “What, was he like fifty or sixty years older than you?”

            “No,” she said with a scowl and threw a pillow. Then she sheepishly admitted, “Twenty-one years older.”

            “Did you love him?”

            She shrugged. “Yes, while at the same time despising him for being unfaithful.”

            “It takes two to commit adultery,” I said, and then cringed.

            But she looked humbled. “I have no excuse, but excuses were exactly what I made.”

            “What kind of excuses?”

            “First I bought into him having a loveless, sexless marriage; but that he stayed in it for the kids. So it started as friends with benefits, and I told myself his marriage was between him and his wife. If it wasn’t me, it would be someone else, and I was jealous of the imaginary someone else. I also told myself I would never let him leave his wife for me, which I held to. But there was always guilt, which was overruled by the thrill of the illicit and forbidden. Plus I always told myself just one more time, or this was the last time. There was also the satisfaction of it not being a real, time consuming relationship. I didn’t have to go to family functions, cook dinner, or argue about housekeeping. I could focus on my career. My career was also another aspect. He was a brilliant doctor, and a fantastic mentor… Is that enough excuses? I’m sure I could come up with more.”

            “Plenty.”

            “So how about you? How come you never married Elsa after what, six or seven years?”

            She was referring to my longtime girlfriend who was a model and actress. “Eight. The simple answer is that I didn’t want to marry someone who would have me as a husband.”

            She laughed, but I told her. “That’s no joke. I think she was more attracted to my stage persona than to me. There was also the element of my money. Even before I was a Christian, I didn’t like the prospect of a prenup. If you’re not going to pledge forever, what’s the point?”

            “But after that long with her, wasn’t there a common law factor anyway?”

            “No, we never lived together. When Elsa and I were together, I spent more than three fourths of my life on the road. Our home was hotels whenever we could get together.”

            “So when your marriage with Reese ended, did she get half?”

            “She got half of my earnings from the band during the time we were together. But she was unaware of my other investments which exceeded my salary from the band. She settled for a two million dollar settlement. She made out pretty good, since it seemed she only married me for my money.”

            “I don’t understand, you look like you should be on the cover of a romance novel.”

            I felt myself make a face, and she laughed. “It’s a compliment, Arlo.”

            “But that sort of sums it up. She looked at me like I was a feral, dumb jock. Turns out she was more into the charismatic, plastic type.”

            “Why were you attracted to her?”

            “It was a combination of things. Elsa and I had broken up a couple months earlier, and as shallow as our relationship had been, it left me feeling empty. I was tired of life on the road and wanted to settle down. I started reading self help and spiritual books. We were finishing up a world tour, and our last stop was LA, where we were based out of.

            “Being known as a satanic band, we often had protesters, but I usually ignored them. But there was no ignoring Reese. She looked like a Victoria’s Secret model dressed in ‘Little House On the Prairie’ garb. I was captivated and approached her. We talked about spiritual things for about ten minutes before I told her who I was. She was fascinated, which should have been a clue. She was protesting my show, but then she was enthralled by my presence.

            “We had dinner the next night, I went to church with her, I quit the band, we began dating, I got baptized, we got married, she cheated, yadda, yadda, yadda, we got divorced. On the plus side, her ultimate view of me as a neanderthal saved me a lot of money. Instead of getting half, she didn’t even get ten percent.”

            “Just how much are you worth?” Penny asked. Then she closed her eyes and held up a hand. “I’m sorry, that’s none of my business.”

            “No worries,” I grinned. “You’re worth half if you decide to marry me.”

            She threw another pillow at me. I caught it and with toes curled told her. “Twenty seven million last time I checked.”

            She gasped, and her eyes widened. After she processed this for a minute, she said, “Well, I guess I don’t need to worry about child support.”

            “Especially if we’re married,” I told her, attempting a charming smile.

            But she only frowned. “Why didn’t what you said about Elsa apply to Reese?”

            “What do you mean?”

            “You know, how you wouldn’t marry someone who would have you as a husband?”

            “Well, two reasons. I asked her after I quit the band and converted to Christianity. And second, after I converted to Christianity, I was convicted that I shouldn’t have sex outside of marriage. Forgive me if this is TMI, but I really like sex. That’s how I ended up allowing you to seduce me.”

            She reached for another pillow to throw, but there wasn’t one. So I threw the last pillow she threw at me back at her. She caught it and then marched over to me and began beating it over my head. It didn’t hurt.

            I grabbed her and pulled her onto my lap. Laughing, she said, “Arlo, careful, the baby!”

            I immediately let go of my grip on her. She laughed harder, then kissed me on the mouth. I kissed her back, then said desperately, “Penny, marry me!”

            She sprang off my lap as if I was on fire. She ran a hand through her silky dark hair and looked at me as if I was crazy. Maybe I was. “Arlo, are you nuts?”

            I went to her and pulled her into my arms. “Yes, for you.”

            “I can’t believe you’re willing to marry a second time on short notice.”

            “Short notice?” I laughed. “There’s a big difference between this and last time. The biggest is we’re having a child together, and I want to be a part of his or her life. So you and I might as well marry so we can make a sibling.”

            She laughed. “Actually I was already regretting that he or she wouldn’t have a sibling.”

            “Then we’ll start working on a second as soon as possible. After all your biological clock is almost out of time.”

            She shoved me but chuckled. “Thanks a lot.”

            We had an awkward moment where we just stared at each other. Then I asked, “Can we pray?”

            “Sure,” she said, and we knelt on the floor, facing each other. We held hands and I asked for a blessing on our child. I had mentioned that God knew our baby before he was even in the womb.

            When our prayer ended, a little miracle transpired. As we arose from our knees, Penny asked, “If it’s a boy, how about the name Jeremiah?”

            “Sure. Was it because of my prayer?”

            “Sort of. I thought of my grandfather, my mother’s father when you mentioned in the womb. He was a doctor, and he was my biggest inspiration on me becoming a doctor myself. Only he was a people doctor and has delivered many babies. His name was Jeremiah, but he went by Jerry. Anyhow, my mom was an only child, and it was family lore that she was supposed to be Jerry Jr. if she was a boy.”

            “Did you know that when I mentioned God knowing our baby before he was in the womb, I was borrowing from the book of Jeremiah?”

            “Really!”

            “Yeah, maybe he’ll be ordained a prophet to the nations as well. That’s what the rest of the verse says. Whatever his life course, he will be blessed because we asked, and God is faithful.”

            Penny’s face seemed aglow. Her eyes were misty, and she looked joyful. She hugged me. She was so natural. I inhaled her sent. No perfume, just her and maybe a hint of Ivory soap. Her warm breath declared something musical into my ear. “I love you, Arlo.”

            “I love you too, Penny. That’s why you should marry me. Soon, very soon.”

            She pushed away from me, her face still radiating joy. I’m sure her words back to me caused me to radiate joy as well, for they gave me hope. “Maybe I will.”