HEAVY METAL MIRACLES
CHAPTER 11
PENNY
FOR YOU FORMED MY INWARD PARTS; YOU COVERED ME IN MY MOTHER’S WOMB. I WILL PRAISE YOU FOR I AM FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE. (Psalm 139:13, 14)
“I can’t stand to be around you, Penny,” Arlo had told me.
“Well hey, that’s just what every girl wants to hear when she feels drawn to a guy.”
He laughed, but then sighed and ran his hands through his long blonde hair, causing his large biceps to bulge like softballs under his dark blue long sleeve dress shirt. A moment before he had declared my presence to be a nuisance as he had disconnected our faces, which had been joined at the lips.
It had been four days since my sister snapped me out of my denial of pregnancy. It had been three days since my doctor officially confirmed that I was with child. It had been two hours since I had surprised Arlo by joining him at Cotton Creek Cove Fellowship. It had been one minute after we had sat down on bench down by Cotton Creek. The rippling brook was about a football field’s length behind the church. It was also exceptionally warm for late February.
With my heart pounding, I opened my mouth to tell Arlo that he was going to be a father. But before my words could come out, Arlo stopped them by covering his mouth over mine. I didn’t resist, but after around sixty seconds of an extremely friendly mouth embrace, my pulse quickened for a different reason. But then he separated from me as if I was the devil. Who knows, maybe that wasn’t far from the truth.
Although a professed Christian since I was a girl, my faith was more like an insurance policy, rather than a personal relationship with the Savior. Until the Lord used Arlo and Abby to open my eyes to Bible truths, my conversation during the judgement might have gone like this. “Haven’t I gone to church dozens of times every year? Haven’t I saved many animals from death and discomfort? Haven’t I devoted time and resources to animal rescue organizations?”
And the response I received would have likely been “I never knew you; depart from me you who practice lawlessness.” (Matthew 7:21-23).
Arlo looked at me and grinned sheepishly. “Sorry Pen, that wasn’t very gentlemanly.”
“Which one? Saying you don’t like to be in my presence, or taking liberties with kissing me?”
“I actually love being in your presence! But due to your extreme loveliness, coupled with our night of passion, and coupled with my abstinence ever since that night, I feel tormented around you.”
“It would be fun to end your torment,” I told him with a sultry smile. Keep in mind I wasn’t converted yet.
“That doesn’t help,” he said with a smile. Then his face grew serious. “I was so glad to see you show up at church today. But were you there for me or the pursuit of God?”
“Both,” I replied. Then I told him all about how I had been studying the Bible, and that I had read the three books Abby had given me. ‘Steps to Christ,’ ‘The Desire of Ages,’ and ‘The Great Controversy’ (between Christ and Satan).
We talked about spiritual things for the next ten or fifteen minutes. Finally we reached a point in the conversation where I had both an opening and the nerve. “So Arlo, there’s something I…”
“Hey kids,” A voice called, causing me to jump, and then making my jaw clench in frustration.
It was the pastor. He was a man in his sixties, but lean and fit. He had a long white beard and was known affectionately as Captain Kirk. His name was Kirk Samson, and he had been a Chaplain in the army and was honorably discharged with the rank of Captain after a decade of service.
“Why don’t you two come on up to the church basement? We’re gonna play Bible Trivia?”
“That doesn’t sound fair, you’ll clean up,” Arlo replied with a chuckle.
“No I won’t, son. I’ll be playing the role of game show host.”
“What do you say, Pen?” Arlo looked at me.
I didn’t want to be a party pooper. Plus the mood was ruined at the moment for me to reveal parentage news. “Sure, but I get the feeling I’ll be watching more than participating.”
We made our way back to the sanctuary. I had worn a tan and white stripped dress with white tights, and toeless heels to church. But before Arlo and I walked down to the creek, I went to my truck and retrieved my hiking boots. Now back inside the church, I kicked them off and reached for my heels. I heard Arlo chuckle as he watched me.
When I had changed into my hiking boots before the walk, Arlo had said, “Watching you walk in those heels was pretty intense.”
“Yeah?” I replied with a coy smile.
I had assumed he was admiring my attempt at femininity. But instead he declared, “Yeah, I thought for sure you were gonna twist your ankle.”
I had stuck my tongue out at him then, but his chortle now was for a different reason. I discovered his amusement was centered on my shoeless feet. From my ankles to my toes, my white tights were stained with a brownish hue from my dirty hiking boots. “Oh no, my brand new tights.”
“I guess you can take the girl out of the country, but not the country out of the girl.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I mean that you’re better suited for jeans and flannel rather than dresses and pantyhose.”
“Thanks a lot,” I said, tossing one of my heels at him. He dodged it and I threw the other. He caught it with one hand. “But jeans and flannel are more comfortable.”
He knelt in front of me, apparently pretending to be a shoe salesmen, and attempted to put one of my shoes on my foot. “I can’t wear those with all the dirt stains.”
He picked up one of my hiking boots and carefully placed it on my foot instead. Then the other. Then he grinned at me. “There you go princess of the outdoors. Nobody will even be paying attention to your feet.”
He was right, for the next three hours they stayed under the table as we first played Bible trivia and then conversed. There were three other couples besides Arlo and me. Even though I was the only one at the table that had a doctorate, just as I figured, I was more of a spectator than a participant.
However, I also was the only one under forty. With the exception of Arlo, all of the rest were also long time Bible believers. At sundown that late Saturday afternoon, the Biblical Sabbath ended (See Genesis 1:5, 8, 13, 19, 23, 31, 2:1-3), and the pastor closed out our little gathering with a word of prayer.
Although I had enjoyed the fellowship, I also had anxiously awaited to get Arlo alone and tell him the news about my womb and what resided there. But my plans were foiled yet again. Arlo had offered to help pastor Samson work on the church’s sound system, and I could tell that it was going to be a while. So I left alone and went home.
Getting together with Arlo Sunday was also out. Early that morning he flew out to California to take care of some legal matter first thing Monday morning. That week had been busy for me as well, and although Arlo returned Tuesday, we were unable to get together in person for a few days. The couple of times I tried to call, he didn’t answer, and I didn’t leave a message.
Then I got a visit from my sister on Friday morning. She greeted me. “So apparently Arlo took the news of fatherhood bad?”
“No, I haven’t had a chance to tell him yet.”
“Well, he must know, because Eli’s concerned about him. He hasn’t come out of his room for the last two or three days. All Eli knows is it has something to do with parentage.”
“You mean you told Eli that I was pregnant with Arlo’s child!”
“No, no, no! I haven’t told a soul, I promise!”
“Well, how would he be upset then? You, me, and my doctor are the only ones that would know about my pregnancy.”
“Cross my heart, Pen. Maybe you should go talk to him.”
Fortunately I had most of Friday afternoon off. Arlo and Eli were still staying at Mrs. Mendelbright’s bed and breakfast. It was the off season for her, and she was often cooking two meals a day for the pair. They were also paying her handsomely, and she was delighted! She said it was the first time she had made a larger profit in the off season.
It was a large beautiful Victorian home. Although I was familiar with the location of the place, I had never been inside. It was like a combination of a historic old home and a hotel. I told Mrs. Mendelbright who I was and why I was there. She too seemed concerned about her tenant, and it only made me the more apprehensive.
I could hear a TV inside Arlo’s room. I knocked three times, but there was no reply. I tried the door handle, and it was unlocked. I opened the door slowly and discovered Arlo laying on his back, fully dressed in jeans and a blue flannel shirt, mouth agape, and snoring softly. The old sitcom ‘Three’s Company’ was playing on the tube. I sat on the bed and took hold of his hand. He moaned, his eyes fluttered, opened, and turned their gaze on me.
“Janet?” he croaked, gazing at me with squinted eyes. He looked at the TV and then back to me. “You’re not Janet, are you?”
I glanced at the TV. I resembled one of the characters on ‘Three’s Company’ who was named Janet Wood. I wasn’t offended since she was pretty. Since I had let my hair grow out the last few months, from what my sister called a man cut, I had also recently been told that I looked like Joan Jett.
“Sorry to disappoint, Arlo, but it’s me Penny.”
He sat up rubbing his bleary eyes. “Oh, hey, Pen. I’m not disappointed in the least. How’d you get in here?”
“I knocked a few times, but apparently you were sound asleep. The door was unlocked, so I came in. I was worried about you.”
“Oh?” he said, raising his eyebrows. “Why is that?”
“You haven’t answered my calls, and Eli said you haven’t come out of your room for the last couple days.”
“Yeah, yeah, I guess I’ve been in a funk,” he said, looking at me, and I could tell he was concentrating on focusing on my face. “You’re so pretty, Pen… I’ve been watching you on TV. There’s what they call a marathon of this show. I couldn’t stop watching because you look like you on it.”
“Arlo, have you been drinking?”
His eyes widened. “No, Pen… No I haven’t, but I’ve been sleep deprived all week.”
“Can you tell me why?”
“I’m no good, I’m no good,” he groaned, and then put his face in his hands.
Was I in the ‘The Twilight Zone’? First I meet an older lady named Mrs. Mendelbright, who happens to be Arlo’s landlord. Just like a Mrs. Mendelbright was Barney Fife’s landlord on an episode of ‘Andy Griffith.’ Then Arlo, seeming like he was drunk due to sleep deprivation, starts declaring ‘he’s no good,’ just like I’m pretty sure Barney did on that same episode. Also, the actor Don Knotts, who played Barney, was on both ‘Andy Griffith’ as well as ‘Three’s Company.’
“Arlo, Honey, why are you no good?”
He lifted his face toward the ceiling, his face scrunched in pain. “Oh, Pen, it hurts!”
“What hurts, Arlo?”
“My soul.”
“Why does your soul hurt, Sweety?” I soothed. I wasn’t good with terms of endearment. But my sister was, and I mimicked her form of speech that I had witnessed her use throughout the years, especially when she consoled someone.
Arlo got out of bed and gulped down half a bottle of water. Then he said, “A couple of weeks ago, my ex-wife informed me that I was the father of a three month old little boy.”
My whole body tensed, and Arlo pinched his nose and wept again. I just stared at him as my mind reeled. After a minute he continued. “I thought, wow, I have a son! But then I thought, wow, I don’t want to have to be involved with that betraying witch for the rest of my life. But I have a son! And I want to be a part of his life. Maybe I need to move back to California.”
I was now so stiff with tension, I thought I might topple off of the bed. “So you’re moving back to California?”
“No,” he said shaking his head, and snorting sarcastically. “Tt turns out he’s not my son after all. My ex claimed he was mine, because a DNA test determined that it wasn’t her current husband’s, with whom she was having an affair with while we were still married. But then a DNA test also determined that it wasn’t mine either. She discovered this the other day in my lawyer’s office. Then you wouldn’t believe what she started babbling to her husband.”
Arlo was both crying and laughing as he shook his head. I gave him space, and then he continued. “That can’t be, he wore a condom, he wore condom. Her husband asked who and I couldn’t believe her reply. It was their pastor, the Reverend Bruce Simon. He was also the man who baptized me. I now feel like my baptism was illegitimate. Can you believe the Reverend that baptized me not only committed adultery, but with my wife!
I noticed how when Arlo called Bruce Simon Reverend, he did so mockingly. Interestingly, Pastor Kirk Samson gave me a little lesson when I had called him Reverand at Cotton Creek last week. With a twinkle in his eye, and like a loving grandfather, he said softly. “Please don’t call me Reverend, my dear, for I am not worthy. Scripture declares in Psalm 111:9, King James Version, that Holy and Reverand is God’s name. You can call me Kirk, or some like to call me Captain Kirk, or if you like formality, Pastor Samson is fine also. Shoot, I’ll even answer to hey you.”
I laughed, and thought, I like this guy!
“I believe you deserve the respect of at least Pastor Samsom, Captain Kirk,” I said with a grin. With his long white beard, he reminded me of Moses, and with his self-deprecating humor and powerful sermon, my first impression of him was as a man with impeccable character.
“I don’t believe your baptism was illegitimate, Arlo. The so called man of the cloth is the one that sinned. Also, Captain Kirk enlightened me on the title Reverend.”
I shared with him the verse, and he seemed pleased despite the emotional pain he was dealing with. Then he gave me a quick scripture lesson along the same lines. “I do know that Jesus said in Matthew 23:9 that we’re to call no man on earth father. Of course he’s talking in the spiritual sense. He didn’t mean we couldn’t call our dad, father. But I did not know about the Reverend thing.”
After a moment of silence, Arlo sighed and declared, “I deserve it.”
“Why do you say that?”
“All those years promoting evil in our band. Plus, I’m ashamed to admit, I fathered two abortions in the past… How ironic, as nihilist in a hardcore, hedonistic rock band, I gave no thought of exterminating my child’s life. Now I’m grieving the loss of what turned out to be a fictional child of mine.”
“So is that what you’re mostly upset about right now? You wanted to be a part of your ex-wife’s child’s life?”
“Yes, big time! I have a different world view nowadays. It seems like it was possibly my only chance at, what would you call it, heritage? Family? At least for a long while.”
I was no longer nervous or hesitant about revealing his impending fatherhood. “Arlo, you can still be a father to a child.”
“Are you out of your mind! You expect me to be a father figure to the child of my cheating ex-wife? Fathered by an adulterous pastor? Forgive me if that’s unforgiving.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about,” I said. I lifted the old comfy purple flannel shirt I was wearing up to my chest, exposing my entire stomach. My faded blue jeans were unbuttoned because they were otherwise too tight on my expanded waist. Yet I honestly wasn’t trying to entice him sexually. “Our night together more than four months ago now. This the result.”
If ever there was ever a stunned expression on a face, it was Arlo’s. His mouth gaped open, and his eyes were bulging from their sockets. After a moment, he gathered himself and stepped toward me. He put a hand on my lower cheek. Although it was warm, I felt goosebumps rise. He spoke quietly as his eyes welled. “So there’s gonna be a human being that is part you, and part me?”
I nodded.
“For real, and you’re sure it’s mine?”
“For real, and there’s a one hundred percent chance my egg was fertilized by you. I told you before we ever made love that it had been half a year since a man had been allowed into my sacred spot. Just so you know, I haven’t even kissed a guy besides you since.”
Then he went onto his knees in front of me, and kissed our child cocooned behind my flesh.
Seven Sallie Showdown 