CHAPTER 23
WILLA
I couldn’t have been more surprised when Billy Bob showed up where I was stranded with my stalled vehicle. Then he even fixed the problem on the spot, and my car started. Whereas if Zella rescued me, she would have just given me a ride home. But the best part of his appearance was when he informed me that he and Carly had broken up.
But then pride reared its ugly head, and I began to play cold. Between Billy Bob’s sad countenance, my desire to spend time with him, and the realization that I was indeed being prideful, I couldn’t stick to my guns. Besides, Carly putting the kibosh on our friendship actually was my fault for requesting the belly kiss. It was deceitful and wrong, but at the time I felt it was necessary.
When I saw that it was Carly coming toward the house that day, I tried to time it so Billy Bob would be planting a kiss on my midsection right when Carly stepped up to the screen door. He would just have to agree to my request, which, surprisingly, he did.
However, in the aftermath, it seemed to have backfired when Carly demanded restrictions on our relationship, and he obeyed. But I figured eventually he would come around. Being a father isn’t something a man of Billy Bob’s character takes lightly. I just expected it to be a couple of days, maybe a week or two, not a couple of months.
Although my friend and roommate, Zella, initially suggested an abortion, I knew that she was fond of Billy Bob and thought of him as a good man who would take care of me. So I wasn’t surprised that she sent him to rescue me and my broke down car. But I was surprised when he showed up instead of Zella. I think my initial surprise caused me to put my guard up and play hard to get. But I couldn’t stay mad at the man I adored, even if he did hurt my feelings. So I invited him back to my place for some lemonade as sort of a peace offering.
Billy Bob seemed very uneasy as we climbed the stairs to my living quarters. I froze when I saw a dozen red roses in a vase on the kitchen table. Where had they come from? My first thought was that Zella had a new admirer. Then I noticed a little white envelope in between a couple of the flowers with my name on it. With heart pounding, I instinctively reached for it. Then Billy Bob zipped past me and snatched it before I could get a hold of it.
“The flowers are from you?” I asked. Call me dense, but it didn’t occur to me that they were from Billy Bob at first. Forgive me for sounding vain, but I’ve never lacked male admirers. He nodded sheepishly. “That’s sweet. Thank you,” I beamed. “What’s in the envelope you just grabbed?”
“Oh, nothing,” he chuckled nervously.
“Let me see it,” I said as I reached for it.
“No,” he replied, sticking it behind his back.
“Why? You said it was nothing.”
“It is, but I said some things, um, too prematurely, maybe, I guess.”
“Did you mean them?”
He looked startled but nodded. I absolutely loved it when he looked like a naughty little boy. Because of his upstanding character, it was a rare sight. “Let me see it then.”
“No,” he said as he now tried to push it into his back pocket. I grabbed his wrist and dug my fingernails into it. “Ouch!” Billy Bob cried as the envelope fluttered to the floor. We both bent to pick it up and clunked heads.
“Ouch!” We groaned in unison as we stood up. He quickly bent to grab it again, but I kicked it out of the way. I moved to dive after it, but he grabbed me by my hips and pulled me into himself. I relaxed for a few seconds at the sensation of being spooned by the man I adored. But I savored the feeling only a few seconds before I stomped on his foot. For a third time in less than a minute, Billy Bob barked, “Ouch!” I snatched the letter, and he gave chase. We did three laps around the table. I was giggling, but Billy Bob was panting with desperation.
“Billy Bob! The baby,” I declared, causing him to stop in his tracks. We gazed at each other for a moment from across the table. Then, with a fingernail, I part sliced and part ripped open the envelope. I pulled the card out. It had a silhouette of a couple walking into a sunset on a beach. It reminded me of the “Footprints” poem on the beach painting that I had seen at church. I opened the card and read out loud.
“My Dearest Willa,” I began speaking and smiling as I looked at him. He bowed his head a little as he gazed at me with hound dog eyes beneath meekly arched brows. “I once was lost, but now I’m found,” I continued reading. “Was blind, but now I see. Recently, these words from the classic hymn took on a second meaning for me. With your complete absence from my life the last couple of weeks, my eyes were opened to who I wasn’t seeing. I’m in love with you, Willa, and not only because you’re carrying my child. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize this. From this point on, I want to be as big a part of your life as you will let me. It’s my desire that you are never absent from my life again. With all my love, Billy Bob.”
I looked from the card to him, but he became blurred by my tears. “That’s beautiful, Billy Bob,” I squeaked. “Why didn’t you want me to read it?”
“Well, I was so filled with desire and passion when I wrote it,” he explained. “I arrogantly thought you felt the same way. Then when I went to pick you up, I perceived that that might not be the case. I feared I was too premature in expressing my love for you.”
“Oh, Billy Bob,” I croaked as I snorted a laugh and shook my head.
“So, you forgive me then?” he asked. “You’re glad I, um, wrote what I wrote?”
I moved around the table to his side and stood in front of him. “Can I show you my answer?” I asked as I laced my arms around his neck.
“Please do.” I kissed him firmly, letting it linger.
“Willa,” Billy Bob gasped after a minute. “We need to stop doing this or I won’t be able to contain.”
The old me wanted to say, “So what?” The new me understood, and it was one of the primary reasons I was in love with Billy Bob. He was a man of strong character and spiritual discipline.
“Okay,” I replied, quietly. “Would you mind spooning me again for a minute, though?”
“What do you mean?” I spun a one-eighty and pressed my back into him. I grabbed both of his hands and placed them over the bump on my abdomen. He understood and began to gently rub my protruding belly. I melted into him and felt his cheek press just behind my ear. After a couple of minutes, I leaned my head back on his shoulder with my hair cascading onto his broad shoulder. It wasn’t long before I felt his lips on my cheek, and then on my neck. I had never felt so much love in my life. I felt like I could be wrapped in his arms forever.
“Willa,” he sighed. “This is having the same effect. We need to get married, and I mean soon.”
On impulse, I broke our connection and led him to sit on the sofa. I got on one knee in front of him and took both his hands in mine. “William Robert Booker,” I said with a huge grin, “will you marry me?”
“Yes, Willa,” he laughed as he left the sofa, kneeling down in front of me and kissing me. I guess the dominatrix in me was dying hard in some ways. First, I proposed marriage. Then I pushed him to the floor, pinning his hands behind his head. But Billy Bob didn’t resist. He is an incredibly strong man, and he easily could have pushed me off.
“I want to marry you really soon,” I told him. “How about this Sabbath?”
“Alright.”
“You know that’s the day after tomorrow,” I said, releasing his pinned arms and sitting up on his stomach. I did a quick drum roll on his chest.
“I know,” he said with a contented smile as he cupped his hands behind his head.
“You’re not going to make me wait until the baby’s born, like you were Carly?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Carly had to gain my trust. You don’t.”
“But you’ve known Carly for going on seven years while you’ve only known me for seven months.”
“Quality over quantity, I guess,” he said with a shrug.
“Aren’t you sweet,” I replied.
“When Carly and I first reconciled, my desire to have her back and be comfortable again outweighed my resentment against her. Then, she turned out to be pregnant with Niles’ child. That turned the tables on me. Jealousy started to outweigh my desire to resume a relationship with Carly. But jealousy is a sin. So I stuffed it down, but it kept resurfacing. Or so I thought.” Billy Bob stopped and smirked.
“Go on,” I insisted as I folded my arms and leaned down on his chest, placing my chin on my forearm. Our baby pressed firmly into his abdomen. It was a feeling of intimacy that transcended mere sexuality.
“Seriously, Willa?” Billy Bob chuckled. “I’m supposed to continue talking with your face two inches from mine?”
I giggled, and to my surprise, he cupped a hand behind my head as he pressed his mouth to mine. A couple minutes later, I pushed us apart.
“I thought you said you wanted us to wait for marriage,” I laughed.
“I do, but it’s not easy,” he sighed. “Can we sit like normal people?”
“I’m quite comfortable,” I grinned as I touched my nose to Billy Bob’s. More kissing ensued. After a minute or two he sprang to his feet and went to the kitchen sink. He ducked his head down and splashed cold water onto his face. I went to the fridge and grabbed a couple bottles of sparkling water. I glanced at Billy Bob, watched him pull a couple of paper towels from a roll and dry his face. “Woo,” he sighed as he leaned his behind against the counter. “Willa you are the most irresistibly gorgeous woman I have ever known. But God as my witness, it’s what’s inside your beautiful exterior that has made me fall in love with you.”
I moved toward him as if magnetically drawn. Is this what it was like to be soulmates? If so, I couldn’t get enough. On tiptoe I kissed his lips once, feather light. I laced my arms around his neck and pressed my cheek against his chest. His arms eased around my back, and he kissed the top of my head. I began to gently weep, but they were tears of joy. For the first time in my life, I was completely excited about my future. We held each other chastely for a couple of minutes.
After we separated, I asked, “Should we sit so you can finish what you were talking about before you accosted me?”
“I didn’t accost you,” he grinned. “You were climbing all over me like I was a body pillow.”
“Fair enough,” I replied. “Now sit and talk.”
“Where was I?”
“You said jealousy is a sin, but you stuffed it down. But it kept coming back, or so you thought.”
“Yeah, right,” Billy Bob said. “After Carly told me she was pregnant, I had to do battle with jealousy issues. But in my mind, I thought that I had them conquered, at least as well as I was going to. Then you end up pregnant by me through that bizarre circumstance, and Carly finds out minutes after I do by witnessing, you know …”
“I know,” I said, feeling ashamed for my trickery. It unsettled me how fine the line can be between sinner and saint. I recently had read a statement by C.S, Lewis that went something like, ‘the second you think you’re humble, you’re not.’ I realized a different angle. The second you think you’re safe from falling, you’re not.
“So unsettled feelings came back full force,” Billy Bob continued. “I thought they were akin to jealousy for some reason. I’ve just been so confused ever since I found out you were pregnant with my child. Even before you became pregnant, when we were becoming friends, I felt so drawn to you. I watched your spiritual transformation with fascination. You are so real, honest, and genuine. But you’re also a scary kind of sexy, even when you’re being wholesome.”
He paused and gazed at me. I suddenly felt self-conscious, and I looked away from him. “That’s not true, Billy Bob,” I told him with dread. “There’s something you should know. After I confess, you won’t think I’m very real, honest, and genuine. But I also want no secrets between us. Communication is key to a successful relationship. So I need to come clean.”
His face fell and became earnest as he gazed intently at me. My mind froze momentarily, causing me to drop our eye contact and stare at the table.
“What is it, Willa?” he asked cautiously, yet urgently.
“That day I came over to tell you that you were going to be a father,” I said and paused, steeling myself.
“Yeah?” Billy Bob prodded with a concerned look on his face.
“I saw Carly walking toward your house,” I admitted with a wince. “I asked you to kiss my belly, hoping it would time out with her seeing it, and it did.”
“Is that it?” Billy Bob asked hopefully. “Is there anything else you need to confess?”
“No, that’s it,” I replied, shaking my head. “You’re not mad?”
“No,” Billy Bob chuckled as he shook his head. “I suspected what you just told me all along.”
“I realize now that it was pretty deceptive,” I acknowledged. “I guess I justified my actions with the old saying that all is fair in love and war.”
“You just asked me to kiss your belly after informing me that my child resided there. Regardless of whether you knew Carly would see, I didn’t have to do it. In hindsight, I’m glad it worked out the way it did.”
“I’m glad you see it that way,” I said. “I’m also glad to have it off my chest.”
“I just regret that it took me so long to realize the reality of the whole twisted situation,” Billy Bob lamented. “But, like you said yourself, I have known Carly for seven years and you only seven months. I was being loyal to someone who was disloyal. But she played it in such a way that I didn’t see it. Or maybe I just didn’t want to see it.”
“No offense, but how could you not see it?”
He shrugged. “Well, Carly emphatically sold me on the fact that she broke up with me before she so much as kissed Niles. And, blinded by sentiment, I guess I wanted to believe it. Once again, I’m sorry.”
“No worries, I understand,” I told him with a smile.
“So, to sum it up,” Billy Bob said, “there were a couple things that really started nagging at my brain the last week or so. First off, Carly was initially very upset after she discovered my face buried in your stomach; yet she was overly lovey-dovey and forgiving three days later.
“Then she said she forgave me for what happened with you and me, and she asked me to forgive her again for having sex with Niles. But I had already forgiven her for that when we reconciled. Then I began to wonder if she meant present tense, albeit in a sneaky sort of way. You know what I mean?”
I felt my mouth drop open. “Carly had sex with Niles right after she discovered you kissing my midriff? Then she tried to trick you into forgiveness? What’s the point of that?”
Billy Bob nodded. “She sure did. But I don’t have an answer for her motive. I suppose it gave her some type of false peace of mind. Or I suppose if it came out down the road, she could play the card of me forgiving her, and simply playing dumb about me not understanding.”
“I just knew she was untrustworthy,” I barked and instantly regretted it. “I’m sorry. It’s not my place to judge her. But using the all’s fair in love and war excuse, she is my enemy.”
“I don’t think you’re judging, just observing. But just to be clear, I don’t think all’s fair in love and war is very ethical.”
“Fair enough. So how’d you find out for sure she cheated?”
“I sort of tricked Niles.”
“What do you mean, sort of? Were you deceptive?” I asked with a coy smile. “Yet you rebuke me.”
“Well, it’s different,” he replied with a puzzled frown. “Like comparing apples and oranges.”
“Is it?” I asked under hooded eyes and a hand on a cocked hip.
“Look, how about we just go with ‘it is what it is’ and move on?”
“Okay,” I replied with a grin. Then we toasted a cheers with our sparking waters.
“So, I just went with what Carly had said,” Billy Bob continued with his story about tricking Niles. “I told him I forgave Carly for the two of them having sex. Then I asked Niles if he had used a condom, and he admitted that he did not.”
“How were you alone with him? Did you go find him?”
“No, as fate would have it, he showed up at Carly’s door when I was there by myself, waiting for a furnace repairman. It was not only another sign; it was the sign.”
“Wow, maybe I should be concerned about you being on the rebound.” I smirked, even though I truly was a little bit concerned. “After all, we might be married the day after tomorrow.”
“I’m not on the rebound,” Billy Bob said, shaking his head. “I’m on the score.”
“On the score? What do you mean?”
“Wouldn’t scoring be the opposite of rebounding?”
“I guess so,” I shrugged. “But I’m still not sure I get your point.”
“When Carly and I broke up the first time, I was absolutely, one hundred percent heartbroken,” Billy Bob explained. “To be involved with somebody immediately after that would have been on the rebound. When I broke things off this time, I not only wasn’t heartbroken, I was relieved. Not only that, my desire for you was a key motivation at getting to the bottom of my suspicions. If not for my feelings for you, I probably would have never pursued my suspicions. Talk about desperate!
“Are you saying you broke up with Carly to be with me, rather than the fact that she cheated on you again?”
“Yes, you were the main reason. Like I said, I’m dense enough I probably would have kept finding excuses for her so I wouldn’t be lonely. How pathetic!”
“But what if I wouldn’t have had you?” I asked quietly. “Other than at fellowship, you did a pretty thorough job of snubbing me.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. It’s one of the biggest mistakes of my life.”
We gazed at each other for a moment. “You didn’t answer my question,” I said with a little smile. “If I was your main motive for leaving Carly, what if I wouldn’t have you?”
“It was a chance that I needed to take,” he said, looking at me with pure love in his eyes. “It would be worth it just to be your full-time friend again.”
I went over to him, sat on his lap, and kissed him. “I’ll be your friend and so much more.”
I kissed him again, but then sprang to my feet, not wanting to put us in the way of temptation. Billy Bob kissed air, and I laughed.
“Do you think Captain Kirk would baptize me before we marry?” I asked.
“I’m sure he’ll baptize you, but I’m not completely sure he will marry us so soon. By the way, I want to get baptized with you.”
“Weren’t you baptized a long time ago?” I frowned.
“I was,” he acknowledged. “But then I ended up having premarital sex with Carly. Plus, I’ve learned so many new truths at Cotton Creek Cove and gained so much more awareness, I’d like to renew my vows, so to speak. It would just feel right before you and I say our own vows.”
“Sounds nice,” I enthused. “It’s funny how quickly life can change. An hour ago I was broke down in my car. Now I planned on getting married and baptized. Can we commemorate this moment with one more kiss?”
Warmth and passion radiated from Billy Bob’s face as he stood. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me with a possessiveness that electrified my whole body. In that moment, the dominatrix prostitute officially died, and the little girl who longed to be loved revived. She was responding to both a God and a man she hadn’t previously thought existed. The old me was gone, and the new me was alive in Christ (Romans 6:6-8). Now Billy Bob and I, the two of us, were to become one through marriage (Genesis 2:24 and Matthew 19:5). Hopefully Pastor Samson, aka Captain Kirk, would agree to our plans.
