HEAVY METAL MIRACLES

CHAPTER 20

PENNY

FOR WHAT IS YOUR LIFE? IT IS EVEN A VAPOR THAT APPEARS FOR A LITTLE TIME AND THEN VANISHES AWAY. (James 4:14)

            “Well, don’t you two look cozy?” I heard my sister say to Eli and Elsa with hands planted firmly on her hips.

            I had been walking behind Ariel toward the playground at Cotton Creek Cove Fellowship. Actually, at eight months pregnant, and being smaller than average, I was more likely waddling behind her. As I came up next to my sister, I witnessed Elsa jerk from being startled and then standing abruptly. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. She stumbled, winced, and caught herself on the back of the bench.

            It was then I realized just how strong and stoic Elsa had been behaving. She had not been letting on how poorly she actually felt. She had been considerably weakened by the cancer that was eating away at the insides of her body.

            This realization dawned on my sister as well as I watched her bite her lower lip, and then step quickly to Elsa, taking both of her hands in hers. Smiling, she downplayed the initial jealousy she had felt. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sneak up on you two. And I was just, you know, joking by that comment.”

            “It’s okay,” Elsa returned a weak smile. Then she glanced at Eli, who was now standing with his thumbs hooked into his jeans pockets looking strangely vulnerable. “I’d like to explain. As we watched the children play I was, I don’t know, overcome with an overwhelming fear and sadness that I won’t be able to see Ivy grow up.”

            “No, no, I understand,” Ariel said as she wiped at tears coming out of her own eyes.

            I felt my eyes welling up also and noticed Mr. Cool detach a thumb from his pocket to pinch the bridge of his nose. Elsa laughed, even as more tears came. “This is so embarrassing. I normally like to have my little break downs privately after I put Ivy to sleep.”

            “Hey, what’s going on?” Arlo boomed. Then his face fell when he noticed the weeping foursome. He moseyed over to Eli. “Dude, are you crying?”

            “No,” Eli barked. “It’s allergies or something.”

            “Come on dude, don’t lie. You’re gonna be baptized tomorrow. If Jesus wept, no guy should ever be ashamed.”

            “You’re right, I’m sorry. Truth is, I guess we’re all felling emotional over Elsa’s situation.”

            “I’m  sorry,” Elsa said with a meek laugh. Her stoicism had returned with her chin lifted. “But I can’t thank you all enough for all the caring and kindness every one of you has shown me since I’ve been here.”

            I stepped toward Elsa and smiling at her, gave her hand a squeeze. She smiled back and hugged me tightly. Over the next several weeks and months, she and I developed a strong bond. I don’t mean to sound morbid or selfish, but I doubted that Arlo’s ex and myself would have become so close if it wasn’t for her deadly disease. And the mostly unspoken fact that I would one day be in the mothering role for her daughter.

            Our extra close bond was also initiated by Elsa. She sought my company more than anyone else’s. No pun intended with Elsa and Else’s. I think it was divine wisdom given to her. Mother’s intuition if you please. She already knew Arlo would love and care for their daughter, so her motherly instinct wanted to make sure the woman taking over that role for her was worthy.

            To me it was the greatest honor and responsibility that I was ever faced with. I did everything I could to reassure her that I was humbled and took the idea of Ivy becoming my daughter very, very, seriously.

            That evening there was a special prayer meeting. Before Pastor Samson, AKA Captain Kirk, closed it out, he asked if anyone else would like to be baptized the next day. I felt like it was a gentle nudge, directed at Elsa. Yet the Pastor’s clear blue eyes stared just over the top of everyone’s head. Then Elsa tentatively raised her hand.

            “Elsa, are you interested in the rite of baptism?” Captain Kirk asked happily.

            “Yes, Sir,” she replied meekly.

            “Wonderful!” he beamed.

            “I do have a question though. I believe most of what Penny and Arlo have been teaching me about the Bible. But what if I’m doing this selfishly, you know, like some sort of insurance policy because, well, obviously my time is short?”

            “Well, my Dear, I’d say Jesus is the best insurance policy one could acquire,” Captain Kirk told her. “And His salvation is free of charge. All you have to do is ask.”

            “But the truth is,” she continued as she wrung her hands. “I’m sure I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for the fact that I’m dying. I wouldn’t have contacted Arlo if I wasn’t dying. I wouldn’t have been in that Christian bookstore and saw Arlo and Eli on the cover if I wasn’t dying. So you see, in light of that, there’s an element about me getting baptized that seems disingenuous.”

            “To be honest with you, Elsa,” Captain Kirk said. “Your situation reminds me of the thief on the cross.”

            “Hopefully not the one who rejected Jesus,” Elsa said with a little smile. We all laughed.

            “No, my Dear, the other,” the Pastor replied with a chuckle. “But who’s to say facing death wasn’t part of his motivation as well? And not only did Jesus forgive him, He reassured him that he would be with Him in paradise.”

            “Yeah, I suppose so,” Elsa said, yet frowned and looked away from the Pastor’s gaze.

            “I hope this doesn’t in anyway sound insensitive, Sister Elsa,” Captain Kirk continued. “But you’re not dead yet.”

            “And we will all be praying for a miracle,” Ariel piped up. I knew my sister pretty well and could tell that she still felt guilty about confronting Elsa and Eli the previous day.

            Elsa’s smile was sad, yet peace was in her eyes. “I’ve already experienced a miracle, by finding you people before it was too late.”

            We were all somber and quiet for a moment. Then Ethan, with his rich, deep voice, began to sing. “Just as I am without one plea, but that Thy blood was shed for me. And that Thou bid’st me come to Thee. Oh Lamb of God I come, I come.”

            I got a lump in my throat, but regardless, I joined a few others in joining Ethan.

            “Just as I am, though tossed about with many a conflict many a doubt fighting with fears within and without. Oh Lamb of God I come, I come.”

            “Just as I am, Thou wilt receive, wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve. Because of thy promise I believe. Oh Lamb of God, I come, I come.”

            I had seen images of Elsa’s so called work. The sexy, devilish vixen contrasted sharply with the woman that emerged from the baptismal waters of Cotton Creek. After Captain Kirk helped her rise from the watery grave, representing newness of life, eternal life, the light of heaven seemed to shine on her face as she smiled and gazed up at the bright blue sky with a twinkle in her lovely blue eyes.

            Newness of life. Terminal illness. What an extreme contradiction.

            Although countless prayers for a miracle were offered on Elsa’s behalf, she passed away six months to the day of her baptism. My heart was never as broken as seeing Ivy sit between Arlo and me at Elsa’s funeral. Ivy’s head was bowed, and her hands were clasped between her knees. Her five month old brother was in my arms cooing after snacking at my breast.

            Ivy smiled at him, looked at me, and held out her arms. I carefully placed little Jeremiah, who we were already calling Jerry, into Ivy’s arms. When she very sweetly kissed his forehead, I almost choked on the lump in my throat. I turned my gaze onto Captain Kirk at the pulpit before I coughed out a sob. I heard Ariel sniff behind me, and knew she had witnessed the same loving gesture by the little girl who would turn five a couple weeks after her mother’s funeral.

            Pastor reassured us that although Elsa’s life was cut way too short, she had accepted Christ and eternal life just in time. He spoke of her courage and witness in her remaining months after her baptism. Then he shared 2 Corinthians 12:9 with us. But instead of hearing the Pastor, I heard Elsa asking me to read that very verse to her.

            It was the last time I saw her alive. We had set up a hospital bed in the guest room of my house. After we married, Arlo had moved out of Mrs. Mendelbright’s bed and breakfast and into my modest ranch house. Her time was now very short with a hospice nurse constantly near. Now, surrounded by those who loved her during her last minutes, she beckoned me. In an almost inaudible voice, she petitioned me to read what Captain Kirk had now quoted as well.

            “And He said to me,” I began. “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness. Therefore most gladly will I rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

            She began to speak to me, but it was so soft I had to bend closer. She repeated. “Thank you for loving my little girl.”

            “It is my supreme honor,” I replied, stroking her matted blonde hair.

            “I love you like the sister I never had,” she whispered.

            “I love you too, Elsa, very much.”

            Then her face stilled. She was gone. Her eyes were still on mine, and in them was a peace I can’t explain, and will never, ever will forget.

             We are all terminal and bound by time. Some are granted long life, some short. We see through a glass darkly now (1 Corinthians 13:12). But in the scope of eternity Elsa’s thirty-eight years compared to my grandmother’s eighty-eight years is actually insignificant when the day comes when God wipes away all tears. (Revelation 21:4)

            Captain Kirk concluded with these words. “Compared to eternity with Christ and reunited with our loved ones, our time on this planet, no matter how short or long, will seem like a night in a bad hotel.”

            Amen, Pastor, and rest in peace, Elsa.