SELFLESS OR SELL OUT?

CHAPTER 11

Tuesday April 29, 1980

I WILL MAKE YOUR DESCENDANTS MULTIPLY AS THE STARS OF HEAVEN (Genesis 26:4)

            Mary Jean awoke kissing the crook of her arm, gave a start, sat up, glanced at her clock, read a time of 6:08, and plopped onto her bed as she sighed heavily. Her head spun in confusion, what a dream!

            She usually didn’t remember her dreams, but this one was profound. She also didn’t know if it was the most wonderful dream ever or a nightmare. How could that be?

            She looked at the pillow where her left arm was cradled. That must have been what made the baby she held seem so real. Her baby! She looked at the crook of her right arm she had been kissing. That’s what had made the kiss from the man seem so real. That man was John! 

            She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand as if he had really kissed her. And why had she been kissing him back? It had only been three days since he confessed a habit of looking at Playboy magazines. It had only been three days since he expressed a concern that part of his motive in his proposal to her had been inspired by the erotic photos of young women. It had been only been three days since she reared her hand back to slap him, but ran off instead, and out of his life for good. Or so she thought.

            The dream started with a visit from an angel of God. How did she know it was an angel? After all, Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14). But she knew in her heart that this dream was from God, believing her connection with God through intense prayer told her so (1 Corinthians 2:13-16).

            The angel had explained that John had been dwelling in spiritual darkness for a long time. He had been hiding from God in religion for years. How ironic! And although outwardly disciplined in the morals common to decent men, he had secretly given in to the carnal lusts common to carnal men. The angel assured her that John had repented. His confession to her cleansed his heart, wanting no secrets, and freeing him to love her as a man of God should.

            The angel also explained that his sister had planted seeds of truth a decade ago. But pride and a judgmental attitude had been poor soil. Then along came the wholesome beauty that captivated his heart. Mary Jean became aware of the fact that his attraction to her, although there were certainly aspects of a physical nature, was primarily spiritual.

            “Your union will multiply your descendants as the stars of the sky,” the angel had told her delightedly as she waved a hand toward the heavens.

            “But how can that be?” Mary Jean inquired. “We are living in the time of the end!”

            “Ah,” the angel said delightedly. “We are all the family of God. And they who win souls is wise (Proverbs 11:30). Your offspring will lead many precious souls to Christ. Your influence has also watered the seeds in John’s heart, planted by his sister Abby. If you marry him, his family tree will bear much fruit. If not, he will ultimately decide against marriage, children, and remain in spiritual darkness, albeit through a religious veneer.”

            “But he’s so much older than me,” Mary Jean declared. “Why couldn’t the Lord yoke me with someone closer in age?”

            “No one in your sphere of influence was found worthy, save for John McQueen. A man who has aged well, is handsome, wealthy, and will be given a second lease on life through your union. His new wealth will be your shared children, which are of infinitely more value than his millions of dollars.”

            “How can these things be?” Mary Jean asked with a frown.

            The angel smiled, and as she touched her forehead said, “Be blessed, my dear child.”

            The next thing she knew, she was in a hospital bed, holding a baby. Her baby! John’s baby! A banner above a door read, ‘Welcome John Jr.’ Then the door opened, and in came the father, grinning from ear to ear. He sat on her bed, kissed their son, and then kissed her on the mouth. It wasn’t unpleasant, quite the opposite, yet after a few seconds of a dream induced lip lock, she had awakened with her mouth on her arm.

            After she rubbed sleep from her eyes, she recounted the last conversation she had with John. It was a rather heated exchange that she now regretted. But how could it be otherwise? This man, her fiancée, was old enough to be her grandfather. This age difference already bothered her. Then he admitted that part of his attraction to her might have been influenced on some level by an erotic magazine. A periodical whose founder boasted of bedding many of the young women that appeared in his magazine.

            Mary Jean sighed as she laid in bed on her back, rubbing sleep from her eyes. She stared at the ceiling, as she listened to the even breathing of her sister sleeping. Then she replayed her last conversation with John. It started moments after they left his Pastor’s office and entered his car.

            “So I saw that money exchange between you and your Pastor,” Mary Jean said with a huff as she folded arms.

            “Yeah, so?”

            “So, what? Did you feel the need to bribe him?”

            “No… I guess I just wanted to ensure that we have no problems. We are going to want to marry fairly quickly. His old friend, who happens to be your Pastor, refused to marry us, and we are going to want to be married in said friend’s church. I simply wanted him to know it would be worth his wile.”

            “Well, it made me feel like I’m being bought after all.”

            “No, it’s not that at all.”

            “Is that right, not at all?”

            “Look, a man in my position greases palms from time to time. You could say it is sort of a habit of mine. When you have the means, it is simply a way of assuring you get what you want.”

            “Yeah,” she snorted. “It sure is.”

            “Look, Mary Jean, to be blunt, me slipping Reverend Paynton a Bengi cost me about as much as you giving a friend a quarter. Okay? If I was doing something covert, I would have asked to speak to him privately. The folded bill slipped by handshake was for any embarrassment he might feel. But just to be clear. I wasn’t hiding it from you at all. When we are on our honeymoon, you will see me grease a lot of palms. Our luggage handler, room service, meals, drivers. Do you understand?”

            Even though she nodded, she kept her eyes straight ahead as they drove.

            “Well, if you need to be in a snit, I might as well take you home,” John said.

            “No,” Mary Jean said mildly, touching his arm and smiling. “It’s a nice day. Let’s go for a walk.”

            Mary Jean and John hiked on the same trails they normally rode horses. Something laid heavy on John’s heart. He had felt the need to come clean with Mary Jean ever since his initial proposal. He had tried to tell himself that what she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her. But it was something he knew, and he wanted it out in the open before they said their ‘I do’s.’

            Not one typically to waste time, John broached the subject only fifty feet into their walk. “Mary Jean, I need to get something off my chest.”

            “Okay,” she replied cautiously.

            He stopped walking and faced her. Why did he feel the need to tell her this? Because of the old adage, ‘Can three people keep a secret? Yes, if two are dead.’ And he simply didn’t trust Max to keep his mouth shut. He had already told him more than once to not send anymore Playboy magazines. Yet they had still arrived via UPS afterward. What if more were forth coming after their wedding?

            He explained Max’s ‘gifts’ over the last decade. At first, she shrugged it off. After all her own father had hidden copies of the popular men’s magazine. She and her siblings had discovered them by accident while playing hide and seek. But her dad was less than a favorable example. Then a thought occurred to her, and she frowned.

            “Are you saying… You became interested in me, a much younger woman, because of looking at Playboy?”

            “Here’s the thing, but it’s complicated, and I don’t even understand myself,” he tried to explain. “You see, I don’t think I would have pursued you, and made the offer of marriage that I did without the influence of Max, and, well, Playboy. That said, and on the other hand, it was primarily your wholesome character that led me to choose you. Do you see?”

            “No, right now I don’t see beyond what you just said,” she responded angrily. “A girlie magazine lowered your decency instincts enough to offer a teenage girl a proposal of marriage.”

            “No, no, no! If that were merely the case, I would have pursued somebody like your friend Sylvia. You know, all voluptuous, tight pants, chest spilling out of her top.”

            This was when Mary Jean thought about slapping him, but merely told him that they were done, the intent to marry was off! She left him saying ‘but’ several times with his open palms out in front of him.

            Three days after Mary Jean declared the marriage was off, she went to John’s place in an attempt to put it back on. That’s how profound her dream was. She was relieved to find John saddling a horse when she drove up.

            “Saddle one up for me?” Mary Jean asked with a smile.

            “You bet,” John replied, returning a smile.

            They looked at each other for several seconds, then at the same time, they both said sorry.

            “I guess I put my foot in my mouth by trying to own up to my sins,” John admitted.

            “I’m sorry for acting in an unforgiving manner,” Mary Jean said.

            “Just so you know, I haven’t looked at, you know, an inappropriate magazine since before I met you at Abby’s the first time.”

            Mary Jean nodded. Then John asked, “So… Are we back on?”

            Mary Jean wrapped her arms around his neck, went on to tip toes, kissed him, and then asked, “What do you think?”

EPILOUGE

            Mary Jean and John resumed the rest of their courtship without incident. They had several premarital counseling sessions with both of their pastors. A few days before their small wedding, Pastor Kirk Samson, along with his old comrade Pastor Paynton, asked the engaged couple a question in Captain Kirk’s chapel.

            “What would you think of both of us performing the ceremony?” Pastor Samson asked.

            Mary Jean was wide eyed. “Do you mean it!”

            “Yes, my dear,” Captain Kirk chuckled.

            “What changed your mind about marrying us?” she asked.

            “I concluded that as unconventional as your marriage would be, that you two really do love each other. I still think you’re rushing things, but now that it’s crunch time, and you are going through with it… I want you to have my blessing.”

            John shook his hand vigorously, and Mary Jean hugged Pastor Samson fiercely. “Will you give me away, too?”

            “I’d be honored.”

            On June 8^th, 1980, John and Mary Jean McQueen were married. They honeymooned for three weeks in Europe. Two months later, they took a Caribbean cruise to celebrate the conception of their first child, a son they named John. He was actually named in honor of the comrade that saved John’s life during the war, and secondarily John himself. He was born March 8^th, 1981.

            On March 1^st, 1982, a second son, Jason, named after John and Abby’s brother who was killed in the war was born. This made for Irish twins.

            On February 25^th, 1983, a daughter named Mary Ellen was born. She was named after both her mother and maternal grandmother. Her birth made for Irish triplets.

            On July 8^th, 1985, another daughter named Erin after Mary Jean’s sister was born.

            On August 19^th, 1987, a son named James after the other brother of John and Abby who was killed in the war was born.

            Five children were fathered by John McQueen between the age of sixty-one and sixty-nine. He not only witnessed all five graduate college, he was alive to meet ten grandchildren. When John died one month after he and Mary Jean’s 40^th anniversary, all of his offspring were over thirty years of age.

WRITER’S NOTE

            Next week I will be starting a new story called ‘Loyd Burl and the Hooter’s Girl.’ This story will be told by Loyd, a mostly ethical seeker of truth. He will relate his testimony of being led toward a Christian conversion experience by a young woman who is a backslidden Christian, working as a waitress at an establishment known for it’s chesty and leggy servers.