CHAPTER 6

BILLY BOB

“Hey, Willie Wonka,” Willa said cheerily as she hopped into my truck.

“Stop calling me that,” I demanded, despite laughing.

“I haven’t heard you tell Ella to stop calling you that,” she protested with a coy smile.

“Ella calls me that occasionally,” I replied. “As in you only heard her call me that twice.”

“Well,” she said with a grin and a shrug. “I like it.”

“Alright, I can live with it as long as you keep it between you and me. No saying it in front of anybody.”

“Deal,” she replied happily, and with a smoldering gaze I didn’t understand. For I understood animals better than people. Especially alluring female people. She continued with a sultry voice. “I like having a secret between you and me. I wish we had more.”

I swallowed and chuckled uneasily. Then I tensed as I perceived her scooting a foot closer toward me on the bench seat.

Willa and I were going horseback riding for the seventh time in the last two weeks.  After the first drive to the Manning ranch, we both had become cautious with our second outing. But by the seventh, we not only had developed a fun-loving, teasing rapport with each other, but we also began delving into deep spiritual issues without arguing.

We truly enjoyed each other’s company as well, and we were starting to become genuine friends. Too bad I needed to tell her our wedding date was off. Yet, in that moment, I found myself waffling. Was Willa interested in me beyond friendship? No way! Talk about a beauty and the beast situation. Besides, our lifestyles were like oil and water.

“Tomorrow’s the big day,” Willa declared after a minute of silence. “Are you nervous?”

“Yes and no. Are you?”

“Of course not, I’m a professional,” she said and then winked at me.

“But you’ve admitted that escorting isn’t your forte.”

“It’s definitely not,” she said with a cocky smirk. “But I’m still a pro when it comes to sexy things.”

“I guess so,” I replied uneasily.

“No guessing about it, honey.”

“I think the horseback outings have accomplished their purpose,” I said.

“They have,” she replied. “To be honest, I’m going to miss them.”

“We can still get together and go riding.”

“You mean it?”

“Sure I do. I’ve enjoyed it.”

“I have too,” Willa sighed. “As a matter of fact, I can’t remember a better two-week span in my entire life.”

I smiled at her, and then we fell into silence. When we pulled into the Manning residence and parked, she opened the truck door. But before she exited, I said, “Willa, I need to talk to you about something… I’m not gonna have you accompany me at the wedding tomorrow. I’m just not comfortable pretending we’re a couple when we’re not.”

We stared at each other for several seconds as her radiant countenance was replaced with a cold dark glare reminiscent of my first impression of her a couple of weeks ago.

“What?” she barked. “You’re welching on the deal?”

“No, no,” I replied with a high-pitched voice. I put my left hand up in the stop gesture and my right going for my wallet. “I intend on paying you.”

I pulled out five one-hundred-dollar bills and handed them to Willa. She stared at them as if in a trance, and then she shook her head slightly and slowly. I was giving her five hundred dollars, and she didn’t even have to be my escort. This seemed like more than fair compensation. Why did she seem to be displeased?

“Is there something wrong?” I asked dumbfounded.

“Yes, there’s something wrong,” she snapped.

“What?” I asked with my own rising anger. “I’m paying you for a job that you don’t even have to complete. Shoot, it’s pretty much like I paid you five clams to go horseback riding, which you seemed to thoroughly enjoy.”

She glared at me for a long moment and nodded with reluctance. “You’re right,” Willa said with quiet dejection. She began to exit my truck and I gently yet firmly grasped her arm.

“Willa, what’s wrong?” I inquired.

“Nothing’s wrong,” she said with clenched teeth, yanking her arm away as she shook her head.

 “I don’t get it. I paid you in full and you don’t even have to be my date. You can even schedule a john if you want to.”

I heard the crack of the slap before I felt the stinging pain. My hand went to my cheek and Willa’s hand went to her mouth as her eyes widened. “Billy Bob, I’m so sorry,” she lamented placing one hand gently on my forearm.

“Willa, what’s the deal?” I asked quietly as my eyes welled from the sting of the sharp slap.

“Like I said, I’m sorry,” she said trying to smile. “I don’t know what came over me. I guess I’ve just never had a customer quite like you. Can we just go riding? That is, if you still want to.”

“Of course I do,” I replied with what I hoped was a friendly smile. “I’ve truly enjoyed coming out here with you, Willa. I’m glad you’ve enjoyed it, too. I hope we can remain friends.”

“I have a request since it’s our last time,” she said with a serious countenance.

“It doesn’t have to be our last time,” I countered. “I said we’d go again.”

“We’ll see,” she said with a shrug.

“What’s your request?” I asked, frowning at her sudden negative attitude.

“Can I ride Ginger?”

A twinge of apprehension tickled my bones. “Well,” I scratched my head. “You’ve proven that you’re competent at handling a horse. But she spooks easily and there’s no telling how she’ll react. It could be anything from a little prancing to bucking you off. Are you prepared to go for a rodeo ride?”

“I am,” she said with stubborn determination. I wondered how much of her attitude sprang from me telling her that I didn’t want her to accompany me at the wedding. I thought she’d be happy. On the other hand, why was I reluctant, even nervous about telling her?

“Okay,” I nodded.

Willa grinned from ear to ear as she rode with Ginger’s feisty spirit. I was just beginning to relax and feel I had been overly cautious when a border collie from a neighboring farm came crashing through some woods barking. Ginger gave a couple wild bucks and dashed into an open hayfield. I was on Gold Thunder, the fastest horse in the Mannings’ stable. We immediately pursued.

When Ginger bucked, it loosened Willa from the saddle. She hung precariously from the side. One leg was in a stirrup, and the other was draped across Ginger’s back. I had nightmarish visions of Willa falling completely off and being dragged by the horse. I began to pray as Gold Thunder and I gave chase. “Lord, help her to hang on. Help us catch her. Keep her safe,” I murmured repeatedly.

Gold Thunder ran like I’d never seen him run before. We caught up to Ginger rather quickly. I reached from Gold Thunder to Ginger and reined her in, talking to her and calming her down. Thankfully, she cooperated as well as I could have hoped. Willa fell to the ground panting, her foot stuck in the stirrup.

“Are you okay?” I asked Willa as I pulled her foot from the stirrup. “Are you hurt?”

“I’m okay,” she replied with a quavering voice as I helped her up.

Without even thinking, I pulled Willa into myself. Her arms went tightly around me, and her cheek pressed into the crook of my neck. “It’s okay, Willa,” I soothed. “You did a fantastic job hanging on. Thank God, you’re alright.”

Once again, without thinking, I kissed the top of her head and nuzzled my cheek into her hair. It smelled faintly of roses, earthy and female. I felt a slight sensual stirring. How inappropriate! I began to push away from her, but she tightened her hold on me and began to whimper.

“It’s okay, Willa,” I calmed her, stroking her hair and sniffing it again. I had to breathe after all, right? “You’re gonna be fine.” We held on to each other for a couple minutes as I continued to verbally sooth her.

“I don’t want to stop,” Willa said as our bodies separated slowly.

“We don’t have to,” I assured her. “We’ll go back to the stables and saddle up Rusty.”

She nodded and folded her arms under her chest as she turned away from me. I gave her shoulders a gentle squeeze and then checked on Ginger. She was standing with her head next to Gold Thunder’s, taking comfort in a member of her herd. Was that what Willa and I were doing when I hugged her?

“I’m sorry, Billy Bob,” Willa told me when we were back at the stables and saddling up Rusty.

“For what?”

“You tried to warn me that Ginger was young, fiery, and not fully tame.”

“Kind of like you,” I grinned playfully.

“I’m getting tamer by the day,” she said, smiling wearily.

“Are you?” I asked teasingly.

“I am,” she replied stoically.

I nodded and we proceeded with riding again. However, the glow Willa had on our previous outings was gone, and she seemed to fake cheerfulness when we had a little dialogue. I couldn’t understand what she was thinking, and I was afraid to ask. I felt like I just needed to give her space.

We stopped at a stream and dismounted. As they drank the cool water, Willa turned her back to me and softly stroked Rusty’s flank. Willa was wearing form fitting jeans. As my eyes began to transfix on the alluring sight, I looked away. But did I need to? She was single, I was single. Where was the line crossed from admiration to inappropriate lust?

I went to my backpack, grabbed two carrots, and handed one to Willa. She took it and gave it to Rusty as I gave mine to Gold Thunder. Rusty bobbed his head up and down a couple of times, as if to say thank you. This usually made Willa giggle and talk to Rusty like he was a child. Instead, her arms hung limply by her sides, and she stared blankly at him.

“Can I tell you something only a few people in Iowa know?” Willa asked me in a zombie-like voice.

“Of course, Willa,” I answered softly.

“I told you before that my dad murdered my mom, but left it at that,” she said with a mechanical voice.

“Yeah,” I replied softly.

“My dad used to beat my mother,” she said quickly. “For years, there was this cycle of abuse, apology, and forgiveness. When I was 14, my mom finally had enough. There was this guy that was helping my mom leave my dad. I was staying over with a friend. My dad shot and killed my mother and her friend or lover or whoever he was. Then he turned the gun on himself.”

She paused and sniffed before a flood of tears emerged from her eyes.

“Willa,” I replied gently as I reached for her. She slapped my arm away.

“So,” she sighed heavily. “I came to Iowa to live with my Aunt Brenda and cousin Whitney. I so despised my father that I changed my last name from McNair to my mother’s maiden name, Waconia. I always wondered if he would have killed me, too, if I was there. He used to abuse me, too, but mostly verbally. He’d lay into me about being lazy or dressing like a slut. Yet, he was also the same person that gave me a pony when I was only four years old, and I loved him for that.

“But my hate was stronger. My own dad was the start of me despising men. Yet nature was pretty good to me physically. So ironically, the species I hated was exceptionally drawn to me. So, becoming a dominatrix suited well. I was in control… Until now.”

“Until now how?” I asked, completely baffled.

Willa shook her head, snorted, and hugged herself. So not knowing what else to do, I moved to hug her, but she shoved me away. “The reason I wanted to tell you this,” she said wiping quickly at a tear, “is because you’re the first person that has made me feel, I don’t know, embarrassed or ashamed for what I’ve become.”

“Willa, I didn’t mean to make you feel that way.”

“Oh, really?” she asked as she placed her hands on her hips. “So are you gonna tell me you respect what I do for a living?”

“Of course not,” I said. “But I don’t think poorly of you. I like you, Willa. You’re fun, you’re smart…”

“And I prostitute myself,” she interrupted.

“You don’t have to,” I replied quietly. “You don’t have a pimp controlling you.”

“Zella’s my pimp,” she said with a straight face.

“What?” I asked as my eyebrows shot up.

Willa burst out laughing and I joined her.

“I guess my point,” Willa said, “is that I want you to respect me, and I know you don’t.”

“Willa, who am I? I’m just a regular guy.”

“Who are you?” she repeated loudly. “You are William Robert Booker, the most decent man I have ever met in my life. That’s why I crave your respect so much.”

“Willa,” I said softly. “Could it be you really crave self-respect?”

  She looked at me as if stunned. We had gotten a bit dusty on our horseback ride, especially from the part that turned wild. There were very visible tear streaks that the breeze had dried on her lovely cheeks. She bit her lower lip and nodded, then took a step toward me and wrapped her arms around me as she buried her face into my chest. Light as a feather, I put my arms around her.

“I’m gonna miss you, Billy Bob,” she croaked after a minute.

“I told you; we’ll still get together and go riding.”

“Yeah, right,” she pushed away from me abruptly with a sarcastic chuckle. “I know you mean it. But the reality is, most people just drift apart without a common purpose.”

“That’s right,” I said with slight hesitation, “but we have a common purpose with horses.”

“We’ll see,” she said sadly. We rode our horses back to the stables in silence, then drove back to Willa’s place in silence.

“Willa, it was nice getting to know you,” I told her as I stopped in front of her home. “I hope we can still hang out. It’s truly my intention to continue what we started.”

“Why are you doing this?” she suddenly demanded with angry authority.

“Doing what?”

“Backing out of the wedding.”

“I’m still going to the wedding,” I explained. “But the closer we got to the event, the more I realized the deception in what we were attempting to pull off. It’s just not right.”

“Did you hit your head hard or something?” Willa asked. “Why on earth would you back out of our deal if you’re still paying me? And how is it that paying me to accompany you to a wedding is any type of sin? It’s nobody’s business what the nature of our relationship is.”

“The thing is, it’s just simply disingenuous. The real truth is, we’re not an honest pairing, you and me. So please, just take your money and run, okay? It just turns out I don’t feel comfortable pretending that you’re my girlfriend when you’re not. Period.”

“But I’m a girl and we’ve become friends.”

“You know what I mean, Willa.”

“Fine,” she spat as she left my truck and slammed the door.

“Willa, please come back. Let’s talk,” I called to her, but she ignored me.

I watched her walk into her home, completely baffled by her behavior. I had paid her in full for our arranged agreement and she didn’t even have to fulfill the duties required. Why was she upset? Maybe I just didn’t understand women. Lyle would be delighted if a landscaping customer paid for a job, and then didn’t want us to do it.

The next day as I prepared for the wedding, I was about five minutes away from departing when there was a knock at my door. It was Willa, and she was dressed to the nines. She was wearing an elegant blue dress that couldn’t have done a better job at combining classy and, forgive me, sexy. Her countenance looked determined as she pushed pass me without invitation.

 “Willa, what are you doing here?” I stammered.

“I’m going with you to the wedding,” she insisted with a determined look in her lovely amber eyes.

“But I told you I am not comfortable paying you to accompany me.” She flipped the five bills I had given her the day before onto the table as she stared me down. “What’s this?” I asked.

“I’m going with you,” she insisted, “and you don’t need to pay me, and you’re not turning me away.”

“Willa, no,” my voice emitted weakly.

She placed her hands on her hips, her lower lip quivered, and her eyes filled with tears. She looked at the ceiling and blinked rapidly. “Don’t make this difficult, William Robert,” she said with clenched teeth. “If tears mess up my makeup, I’m gonna knee you in your reproductive system.”

“What’s going on with you, Willa?” I asked quietly. “Why are you taking this so seriously?”

“Here’s the way I see it,” she began. “Our little horseback journeys are the best memories I have had since I was a girl, maybe even in my life. If I’m not mistaken, you had a pretty good time yourself.”

“I did.”

“I actually consider you a good friend now,” she said.

“And I you.”

“I’m also a girl.”

“I’ve noticed.”

“Well, you definitely fooled me,” she spat viciously. Then she shook her head and crossed her hands back and forth in an erase gesture. “Anyway, I’m a girl and we’re friends. So, if you take me horseback riding in a week or two, it will be perfectly legit if I’m on your arm at this wedding.”

“And you’ll do this for no pay?” I asked frowning.

“What are friends for?” she asked, waving a hand at the fallen currency.

“I don’t know, Willa.”

“What don’t you know?” Willa whined and stomped her foot with frustration. “How is what I described being deceptive?”

“I guess it’s not.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“It’s still disingenuous somehow. Maybe we have become friends, but we are not truly boyfriend and girlfriend in a romantic sense, and that’s the deceptive appearance we’d be giving.”

“Billy Bob,” Willa moaned impatiently, then she softly spoke. “If you would have me, I’d be your real girlfriend.” Her statement took me completely by surprise.  Before I knew what was happening, her lips were on mine. She let those soft, beautiful, sensuous lips linger against mine for several seconds before she pulled them off and put them by my ear.

“I’ve never ever kissed a client,” she whispered. “Convinced?”

“You have the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen,” I mumbled.

“What?” her luscious, red painted mouth gaped open.

“I’ve never seen golden eyes like yours before,” I whispered. “They’re stunning.”

“Leave it to you, Billy Bob,” she said laughing. “To be looking at my eyes when half of my breasts are spilling out of my gown.”

“So, if we really were boyfriend and girlfriend,” I asked, not even understanding why I was asking. “You’d give up your occupation?”

“I don’t know, maybe.”

“Maybe is like ‘close only counts in horseshoes.’ There’s no way I would be involved with a practicing prostitute.”

“But I don’t actually have invasive sex with my clients,” she pleaded, and then showed me her hands. “Just massage. What I do is way more like a medical procedure than say, a, um, actual call girl.”

“Some medical procedure,” I said sarcastically.

“They don’t even touch me; they just get to look. Then what I do for them is, like I said, a medical procedure.”

“I can’t believe you’re comparing what you do to a medical procedure!”

“Shoot Billy, what I do is less intimate than a stripper giving a private lap dance. To me anyway, and I was a stripper for a short time so I know.”

This puzzled me. With Lyle as a close friend it shouldn’t have, but I asked. “How do you dance on a lap? Sounds painful for the guy, and hard to balance for the gal.”

“Oh Billy Bob,” Willa said quietly. A little smile played on her lips, and a look of what in those beautiful amber eyes? Sympathy? Fondness? “My sweet naïve William. You’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen, the most wholesome, and the wisest.”

“Me beautiful?” I laughed. “I don’t think so, I do have a mirror.”

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” she said taking my hand in hers. That look of fondness deepened. Could it be love? Did I love her? I certainly loved her as a friend. Yet there was an underlying feeling there stronger than what I felt for, say, Lyle. It was similar to what I felt for Carly.

Suddenly feeling shy, I looked away from Willa and fixed my eyes on the clock above the stove. “Oh no – we’re running late!”

“We,” she said hesitantly, wanting conformation.

“We,” I replied, smiling. She smiled back and laced her fingers through mine. We walked to my truck hand in hand. It felt like we were not only off to a prom, but as the king and queen.