CHAPTER 17

AMY AUTUMN

I didn’t understand what I was feeling for Dirk Easton. For a teenage girl, I was surprisingly uninterested in romance. Yet I was strangely drawn to him. He was so cute with a lean, muscular physique. His blonde hair was wavy and a bit on the long side, and it looked especially good with his tan. He kind of reminded me of the actor Ryan Gossling.

As I chatted with Dirk, I noticed that he winced a couple of times. I asked him how he was doing and although he downplayed it, I could tell he was still in quite a bit of pain. It brought something to the forefront of my mind that had plagued me ever since the attack. My only family was my two sisters, and they were both out to destroy me. This made me feel really alone. I hadn’t known Destiny and Brock long enough for them to truly feel like family.

I tried to hold back the sob that was building, but the harder I tried, the stronger it built. It was kind of like when you can’t help laughing, even when you know it would be inappropriate. I couldn’t hold it back any longer and it came forth in a burst. Dirk put a gentle arm around my shoulder; I relished the comfort of his touch. My desire for him grew and I didn’t understand this longing that was so foreign to me. Is this what was meant by love at first sight? Maybe I did have romantic inclinations for Dirk. Or maybe it was some type of hero adoration. Oh the human condition!

The wonder of Dirk’s touch began to subside and was replaced with a growing embarrassment. I sprang to my feet, saying I was sorry and should leave. I stepped quickly to the door, but Dirk grabbed my hand.

“Don’t go,” he said with a quiet earnestness.

His clear blue eyes looked into mine. Hug me or kiss me, I thought. I’ll do it back!

“Finish your muffin,” he said with a shy smile.

“Okay,” I croaked as I smiled, both delighted and disappointed.

“What’s bothering you?” Dirk asked after we sat again.

“Nothing,” I said with a shrug.

“I think something is.”

I snorted a laugh and shook my head.

“You can tell me,” Dirk said. “After all, we shared an unforgettable moment in time. Even if we never see each other again, we will be forever linked.”

Never see each other again and forever linked. What a brain tease. He did rescue me from the worst moment of my life. And if he hadn’t, it would have been infinitely worse. So I decided to open up.

“I guess I was just feeling sorry for myself,” I admitted. “I was thinking about how my only family is just my two half-sisters with one setting me up to be raped and the other apparently wants to sacrifice me in a satanic ritual.”

“What!” Dirk barked. “I knew about your one sister setting up the attack. But what’s this about a satanic sacrifice?”

I cringed, thinking I should have kept my mouth shut. But I had already opened the door, so I figured I might as well go through it.

“I really don’t know much more than that. Destiny found out about it through an FBI agent that she knows, and it made sense because of a conversation I had with my sister recently.”

“Who’s Destiny?” Dirk asked frowning.

“You know, you met her when you were in the hospital. You thought she looked like the actress who plays Harley Quinn.”

“Oh, her,” Dirk cooed as he looked away from me, probably gazing at a mental picture of Destiny.

I bit my lip as I fought back jealousy over Destiny, my new-but-dear friend. Dirk was nice looking and all, but Destiny Knight was married to Brock Storm. So it’s not like she was competition. I just wish I looked as beautiful as her.

“She’s married to Brock,” I pointed out.

“Right. Man, that guy is ripped.”

You’re not so bad yourself, I thought. However, Brock Storm did have a way of making other strong guys look a little wimpy. “He is indeed,” I agreed.

“So what did your sister say that made you think Destiny was telling you the truth?”

“She was overly interested in my sex life, or lack thereof,” I told him, feeling my face get hot with embarrassment. “Then she kept insisting I come visit her, um, organization.”

“What does your sex life have to do with it?” Dirk asked just above a whisper.

“My sister was looking for a virgin to sacrifice,” I said with a whisper.

“Oh,” Dirk replied with raised eyebrows. “And you qualify?”

I nodded, certain I was blushing.

“Wow!” Dirk said as he sat up straight, slapping his hands on his knees.

“What?” I wanted to know, feeling more uncomfortable by the second.

“Oh, nothing,” Dirk stammered.

“Tell me what you just declared ‘wow’ about.” I demanded, and then winced at how witchy I probably sounded. And Dirk did look extremely rattled.

“I, um, don’t know, um,” he rambled. “You want some more milk? How about more milk?”

Dirk grabbed for my glass and I yanked it away.

“I’ve had enough milk,” I told him. “But I want to know why you said ‘wow’ about me being a virgin.”

Dirk was frozen like a statue mid-grab. This was an odd conversation to be having with someone I hardly knew, and a young, hot-looking man to boot. Then he straightened and rubbed his hands on his thighs, chuckling nervously.

“I mean look at you… You’re gorgeous,” he said.

Dirk said I was gorgeous! It took every bit of my will power to remain calm and composed, and not spring up shrieking, “Really? do you think so?”

“And the sister you lived with is a stripper,” he continued. “Forgive me for assuming. I was just putting two and two together.”

“Are you disappointed?” I blurted.

“Of course not,” he said incredulously. “I am, too.”

Dirk suddenly looked stunned, baffled, and completely lost.

“You’re a virgin, too?”

“Yeah,” he said barely whispering.

“I think that’s great,” I blurted. “May I ask why?”

“Why what?”

“Why you’re, you know, like me. Someone who has yet to experience physical intimacy.”

Dirk was staring at me with eyes wide, mouth agape, holding his breath. Then he deflated and ran his fingers through his thick blonde locks.

“Amy, to be honest with you, I’m kind of a loner,” he told me. “I also try to live a principled life and I believe two people should be committed before sex. Plus, I tend to get all tongue tied around beautiful women such as yourself. So, well, nothing has ever worked out for me that way.”

Beautiful women such as me! Beautiful and gorgeous, really?

“So you never had a girlfriend?” I asked.

“Well, yeah, I mean sort of,” Dirk replied.

I waited, but he didn’t continue.

“What do you mean, sort of?” I pressed.

“In high school there was this girl and we became close friends,” he explained, seeming reluctant and waving his hands back and forth. “But there was something more, something deeper than simply friends. But, ultimately it didn’t, you know, um, work out.”

“What happened?” I asked quietly.

Dirk winced. Whether from a painful memory or his injuries, I didn’t know. It could have been both. A distraught look came into his eyes.

“She killed herself during our senior year of high school,” he said, quietly.

I went numb, and I could feel my face drain. This wasn’t how I wanted to lose the red color from my face.

“Dirk, I’m so sorry,” I replied lamely as my stunned brain whirled for composure.

“She was always sad,” he continued with a numb voice. “At first I thought she did it because she struggled with depression. But she wrote two suicide notes, one for me and one for the police. The one to the police detailed years of abuse by her stepfather. An autopsy found his DNA where it shouldn’t have been.”

“He’s in jail, I take it?”

Dirk shook his head. “He offed himself when the cops came for him.”

The ugliness of his story hung between us for a long, morbid minute.

“Do you want to tell me what her note to you said, or is it too personal?”

“It was actually a two-page letter,” he replied. “In a nutshell, she explained her reasons, apologized, and expressed her love for me.”

Dirk rose suddenly, took our milk glasses to the kitchen, and rinsed them. When he was done, he just stood and stared into the sink. I could tell that he was on the verge of weeping and probably felt uncomfortable having me witness his vulnerability. I went to him, purposely not wiping my own tears so he could see that he wasn’t alone.

“I’ve never told anyone that before,” Dirk said without looking at me. “Not the counselor that they made me see in the aftermath of her death, or even my brother.”

“What was her name?”

“Angie. Angie Roth,” Dirk said, turning to look at me.

I didn’t think he noticed my tears at first, but then he nonchalantly plucked a tissue from a nearby box of Kleenex and handed it to me.

“So what happened to your parents?” Dirk asked, probably wanting to change the subject.

“Huh?” I replied, taken slightly off-guard.

“You said that your two sisters are your only family.”

“My mom died from a drug overdose when I was only a few months old, and my dad was a career military man. I was pretty much raised by my father’s parents. But my grandma died when I was six, and my father was killed in Iraq when I was eight. It was just Grandpa and me for the next several years. Then just two days before I turned seventeen, my grandpa died suddenly from a heart attack. That’s when I moved in with my sister to finish my senior year of high school.”

“Funny, I was mostly raised by my grandparents, too,” Dirk told me. Then his eyes looked startled. “I meant funny as in strange, not ha, ha. No, not strange, odd. Not odd either, weird. No, not…”

“I know what you mean,” I smiled reassuringly as I tried not to giggle. “What happened to your parents?”

“They were both killed in a car accident when I was eleven.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

Dirk shrugged and nodded. “My grandma died when I was seventeen, and my grandpa went a few days later on the day of my grandma’s funeral. He basically died from a broken heart.”

“How sad,” I said. “But also kind of touching.”

Dirk nodded. “So now my brother is the only family I have.”

“I hope he doesn’t want to kill you or something,” I said with a sarcastic chuckle. Then I became embarrassed by what I blurted. “I meant like my own sisters. Obviously I know nothing about your brother.”

“No, he doesn’t want to kill me,” he said with his own reassuring smile. “At least I don’t think so. He and I are pretty close; we even work together.”

“What do you do?”

“We have a tree business.”

“Like, selling trees?”

“No,” Dirk said with a little chuckle. “Trimming and removal. Looks-wise, there’s no mistaking that we’re brothers. But other than that, we’re pretty much opposites.”

“Like how?”

Dirk shrugged. “I guess the most obvious thing would be that he’s a big partier and social butterfly. Like I said, I’m pretty much a loner. He likes to go to clubs and bars, while I like to go for long hikes. He’s a womanizer, and I’ve never been on an actual date. Devin drives a fire engine red Mustang GT, and I drive a flat black jeep. Stuff like that.”

When Dirk said Mustang, a little jolt went through me. Brock Storm had given me a ride and was waiting outside for me in his blue Shelby Mustang. Although Brock told me to take my time, I didn’t want to keep him waiting too long. I needed to get going, but I also desperately wanted to see Dirk again.

“Oh hey, I need to get going,” I told Dirk. I looked at him for a moment and tried to will him to ask me out or at least say he’d like to see me again. But apparently it wasn’t working. When staring at him became uncomfortable, I went to the sofa to retrieve my purse. In a moment of inspiration or more realistically, desperation, I grabbed a credit card from my purse that was maxed out and left it on the cushion where I had been sitting.

“It was nice getting to know you, Dirk,” I told him.

“Likewise,” he said, and then just stood there with his hands in his pockets.

I paused, giving him time to say something. I really didn’t want to leave my credit card on his couch, maxed out or not, but it looked like my only option.

“Well, bye,” I said.

“See ya,” he replied. See ya instead of bye. As in, we will see each other again. I opened the door to leave. “Hey, Amy,” Dirk blurted.

 This was it; he was going to ask me out. Or at least say he’d like to see me again. I turned expectantly.

“Thanks for the muffins.”

DESTINY KNIGHT-STORM

I came down to breakfast to find Amy staring trancelike into her coffee mug. One leg was tucked up under her while both hands fiddled nervously with her hair that draped over her shoulder. She was troubled about something, and this troubled me. Even though we hadn’t known each other all that long, we had really bonded. My love for her was somewhere between motherly and sisterly. I came up behind her, kissing her cheek and causing her to jump and then giggle.

“Good morning, sweetie,” I said.

“Good morning, Dee,” Amy responded.

“How are ya?”

“Okay,” she said with a shrug.

“Just okay?”

She nodded.

“Could you be lovesick?”

“Dee …,” she whined with a shy smile.

“Come on, Amy, you just replied with my name, not ‘No of course not.”

“I don’t know. I just really, really like Dirk, but I don’t know how interested he is in me. I did do something kind of foolish, and now I don’t know what to do about it.”

“What’d you do?”

“We seemed to kind of hit it off,” she explained. “But then, not only was he not asking me out, he didn’t even say he’d like to see me again. So to kind of force him to contact me again, I left a credit card on his sofa.”

“You left a credit card on his sofa?”

“It was maxed out, so it’s not like anyone could use it.”

“Oh, Amy! That wasn’t very smart.”

“I know, and now it’s been a week. He apparently hasn’t noticed or somebody kept it.”

“You’ll just have to go try to get it back.”

“I will this afternoon after church,” she promised. “I’ve never felt like this, Dee. I can’t stop thinking about Dirk and dreaming, and hoping about a future together. I’ve never done this before. I don’t understand these crazy emotions.”

“You’ve never had a crush on a boy before?” I asked.

“Honestly, I haven’t,” she replied with a pained expression. “I mean, there were guys I thought were cute, but I didn’t fantasize about romance the way my friends did. Plus, I had it different from my classmates. Most had a normal family life, but I had to sort of take care of my grandpa after my grandma died. But, you know, he took me in instead of pushing me off to foster care when he was needing care himself. We looked out for each other, really.”

“You haven’t said much about him. Did you mind growing up with him as your guardian?”

“He was a bit on the gruff side, but we got along just fine. He was my dad even though he was my grandpa if that makes sense. My actual father was more like an uncle. But my situation forced me to take care of myself and be independent. I know Grandpa loved me. He belonged to a really good church and a lot of the women there sort of taught me how to take care of a home. Especially when I was really young, it seemed like there was always somebody from my grandparent’s church bringing us food or doing something to help. ”

“Here I thought it was because you worked at a restaurant that you’ve made us so many tasty meals since you’ve been here. You’ve even been teaching me in the kitchen.”

“Nope, I just wait tables at the restaurant. I learned to cook from wonderful church ladies. I guess I kind of grew up old-fashioned.”

“So how come nobody from the church you grew up in took you in after your grandfather passed?” I asked.

“There were several families that would have,” Amy explained. “But at the time I got along with Lexy pretty good, or thought I did anyway. On the surface, I still get along with Lydia. She just doesn’t know that I know about her intentions to, um, sacrifice me. How weird!”

“Who do you mean by Lydia?”

“Oh,” Amy giggled. “Jezebel Black’s given name is Lydia Karkalla.”

“Wow, I guess in the back of my mind I knew Jezebel Black was most likely a made up name, but that’s all I’ve ever known her by. I think Nora Medora did say Jezebel Black was an alias. Anyway, go on with your situation after your grandfather died.”

“Well, I always got along well with my sisters,” Amy explained. “But we didn’t know each other as well as sisters should. But when we did see each other, it was harmonious. After Grandpa died, Lexy offered to let me move in with her and finish high school in Cedar Rapids. I jumped at the chance. I wasn’t exactly bullied when I went to school, but I was harassed from time to time because I didn’t fit into a herd. So I welcomed a fresh start living with Lexy and changing schools.

“Part of that fresh start was letting Lexy change my wardrobe from long skirts to sexy tight jeans and leggings. My tops went from t-shirts and sweaters to blouses that revealed, you know…”

“Cleavage?” I guessed.

Amy blushed slightly and nodded. “So Lexy was really cool most of the time. But a few months before I turned eighteen, she started suggesting that I start stripping. I just smiled and ignored her, not saying yay or nay. Then it turned from ‘if’ into ‘when.’ She also started talking about how I could make it big in porn and I was like, ‘Major yuck.’ No offense.”

“None taken,” I replied. “I look back on what I did and I think major yuck, too.”

“So this was the first time I spoke up and protested. The thing is, I lived with Lexy at least two, maybe three months before I even knew she was a stripper. I thought she was a waitress at a bar or night club or something. But after I realized the situation, I just kept putting her off and praying for a way of escape. And low and behold, the Lord sent you and Brock.”

“Paise the Lord!” I said, patting her knee. “God works in marvelous ways… So now tell me what transpired between you and Dirk that had you looking all dreamy, yet forlorn,” I petitioned with a little smile.

“He’s so different,” Amy said with a little bit of awe in her countenance. “I mean, he’s so sweet and shy, yet I have proof that he’s strong and courageous by how he risked his life when he saw a stranger was in danger. To top it off, he’s gorgeous. Plus, I also have proof that he’s wholesome.”

“How’s that?” I asked, frowning.

“He told me that he’s a virgin,” Amy said with satisfaction.

“He did?” I almost shouted. “How did that come about? You two barely know each other.”

“I was telling him about Jezebel wanting me to be a human sacrifice because I’m a virgin. He was all amazed, he said, because he knew that I was living with my stripper sister and also because he said I was attractive, it surprised him. He kind of put his foot in his mouth in the process and attempted to save face by acknowledging that he was a virgin, too.”

“Sweetie, I’ve got a strong feeling about you two,” I told her as I put a hand on her arm.

“You do?” Amy responded, biting her lower lip.

“I had my first inkling when you two met in the hospital.”

“I don’t know. He made it pretty clear that he was a loner,” she told me with a pained expression. “Plus, he made no attempt whatsoever to ask me out or even say that he’d like to see me again. He also told me that when he was in high school, he had this girl that he was close friends with who ended up killing herself during their senior year.”

“Oh my,” I said as my hand reflexively went to my chest. “Why did she do that?”

“It turned out she had endured years of sexual abuse by her stepfather.”

“Please tell me the dirt bag is in prison.”

“He killed himself when the police came to arrest him.”

“You phrased her as a friend,” I said. “So were they in a romantic relationship?”

“I don’t think so, but I think it was building toward that. He did say he loved her. I think the ordeal might have made him hesitant to give his heart to someone again. I could tell her death had devastated him.”

“That’s understandable,” I said. “You’ll just need to be patient.”

“I need more than patience for something that seems nonexistent.”

“Well, sweetie, in this day and age with an ‘anything seems to go’ culture, I see nothing wrong with a proper young lady such as yourself doing the pursing in a possible romance.”

“I appreciate your encouragement, Dee. If nothing happens when I go after my credit card, though, I’m gonna force myself not to think about him.”

That afternoon Amy was readying to go back to Dirk’s place with Brock. She sat at the kitchen table as she waited for him to be ready to go. She was wearing a light pink tee-shirt with Tweety Bird on it, a denim skirt that stopped just above her knees, black pantyhose, and pink converse shoes. I thought about advising her to dress more like a young woman rather than a cute girl. But I figured she needed to be herself. Besides it was just the three inch Tweety over her heart and the pink sneakers that showed her youthfulness.

“Did you and Brock have sex before you married?” She asked me suddenly.

She giggled at my surprise, but then I boldly proclaimed. “No, we did not.”

“Did you kiss?”

“Well, yeah, we did actually. Some. Not much.”

“Deep kisses?”

Now I could feel myself blush a little. “We did, but not very much. We felt like it was setting us up to fail with our goal of waiting to be intimate until marriage. But on the other hand, we married shortly after we started kissing. Have you ever kissed a guy?”

Amy shook her head with wide eyes. Then she began to bob her foot nervously. When I noticed her foot seemed to be the same size as mine, I couldn’t help wanting to impose. “Can I show you something?”

“Of course,” she shrugged.

I ran to my room and grabbed some brown boots that zipped up the side. They were a nice, cowgirl style with only a one inch heel. Not too sexy, but classy. I also grabbed a pink, white, and light blue flannel shirt. I showed the boots to Amy and asked her to try them on. Her eyebrows rose with intrigue and she said, “Okay.”

She removed her sneakers, slid the boots on, and zipped them securely against her calves. I told her, “They fit you better than they do me.”

“These are so cool!” Amy said enthusiastically as she walked back and forth.

“Do you like them?”

“I love ‘em!”

“Then they’re yours.”

“What?”

“I haven’t even worn them in at least a year, maybe two.”

“I love you so much, Dee,” Amy said as her pretty, exotic eyes gazed into mine. “You’re gonna be an amazing mother someday.”

“Thank you, sweetie,” I replied as we hugged. “And I love you, too. But I’m not going to be a mother someday. There was a complication from an abortion I had when I was a teenager that made me barren.”

“Dee, I’m so sorry.”

“I’ve accepted it,” I said with a shrug. Then I offered her the flannel shirt. “This might look good over your pink t-shirt.”

I twisted her hair into a French braid as she, at my suggestion, tied the bottom of the shirt together instead of buttoning it up. I took her by the hand and led her to a full length mirror. Her face lit up. “I could pass for twenty-five.”

“How about twenty?” I replied.

We both laughed as she hugged me. Now the true test would be her upcoming encounter with Dirk.