CHAPTER 6

I went home and put the wheel on Mary Gold’s car. I read for a couple hours, had lunch, took a little nap, and decided to go for a motorcycle ride. When I returned home around four, Grandma informed me that Mary had been over at a quarter after three, very thankful and wondering how much she owed. Grandma told her that Ned didn’t charge us anything, but she insisted that she wanted to give me ten dollars. Then Grandma pulled a ten dollar bill out of her purse.

“Grandma!” I said. “You didn’t take it?!”

“No, dear, this is mine. You deserve it for being so kind, though.”

“No, Grandma, thanks. That’s alright.”

“Here, take it.”

“No, Grandma.”

“Take it, use it to buy gas.”

“Oh, alright, thank you.”

“You’re very welcome.”

I sort of had a rule, after two refusals always accept on the third insist. If it was Mary, though, I would have overruled her insistence no matter how long it took.

After supper, I decided to go on another motorcycle ride. I had it parked in front of the house and when I was saddling up, Mary came across the yard carrying a plate of cookies.

“Hi,” she said, smiling shyly.

“Hi,” I said cheerfully. I felt my heart rate increase, and I was surprised at how I was both delighted and a little frightened to speak with her again.

“I tried to give your grandmother some money to give to you for helping me, but she said that you would be insulted.”

“I would have,” I replied as I stopped myself from winking.

“Would you be insulted if I offered you a batch of chocolate chip cookies? They’re right out of the oven.”

“Not at all, you’d be a girl after my own heart,” I blurted, suddenly feeling like I was being too forward. She blushed and looked a little uncomfortable.

“Let’s go get some milk and have some,” I said quickly.

“Oh, I probably better go,” she said even quicker.

“Ah, come on,” I said, doing my best to give a friendly, yet charming smile.

Her shy smile slowly returned. “Okay.”

Over the next twenty minutes I found out quite a bit about her. She turned twenty years of age back in May. She worked around thirty hours a week at Peterson’s. She was taking nursing classes, and she wanted to work in a nursing home because she had a special place in her heart for the elderly. She grew up in the country near the Amana Colonies, although on an acreage rather than a farm like me. Her father and mother divorced about six years ago. And lastly, she was a devout Christian. After we shared the basics with each other, she stood abruptly.

“Well, I better let you get going,” she said. “I didn’t mean to get running at the mouth.”

I stood. “I’m not going anywhere.”

She frowned. “When I came over, you were getting on your motorcycle.”

“Oh, I was just going for a ride, no place in particular. Would you wanna go for a ride with me?” I asked, casually.

“Really?” she asked, her eyes getting wide with surprise.

“Sure.”

Her face filled with delight and she put a hand on her chest almost a little breathless. I felt quite pleased with myself.

“I’ve never had a motorcycle ride,” she said. “I’ve always wanted to.”

“You’ve never had a motorcycle ride?”

“Never even sat on one,” she said. “Are you sure you don’t mind?”

“I’m glad you’re going with me,” I said. “One thing though. Do you ever wear pants?”

She glanced down at her dress. It was the same one that she had on this morning.

“Oh sure,” she said. “I’ll go home and change. I’ll be quick.”

“No hurry,” I said, but she was out the door so fast I don’t know if she even heard me.

MARY GOLD

I sprinted home in anticipation.  Jake had just asked me to go on a motorcycle ride with him! I needed to change clothes fast.  I didn’t want to keep him waiting. My mind was reeling; it was churning in a confusing combination of excited and panicked. I shouldn’t have felt worried; I didn’t stand a chance with a man that gorgeous. But why was he so nice to me? He seemed like such a gentleman. And so far, I hadn’t seen him with any girls.  He was always coming and going on his motorcycle by himself.

Even though I was in a hurry, once I changed into jeans and a T-shirt, I knelt and prayed. I was and still am a Christian, and I take my faith very seriously. I made a promise to God that I would save myself for marriage no matter what. By this vow, I meant to be celibate.

However, my stance seemed in vain. Guys weren’t exactly beating down the door to ask me out. I’d never had a guy try to kiss me, let alone, well, you know. In high school guys not only didn’t ask me to homecoming and prom, they teased and made fun of me because I wore long skirts or dresses most of the time.

As I prayed, I asked that God would be with Jake and me on the ride, leading and guiding our conversation. After closing the prayer, I hurriedly grabbed a pair of socks, snagged my sneakers, and dashed out of the door. I ran across the Krause’s lawn barefoot as Jake sat on his motorcycle waiting for me.

“Sorry,” I almost shouted.

Jake laughed, and I hoped that it was more of the laugh with you than at you.

“You apologize a lot when there’s no need,” he said.

“Sorry. I mean, you’re probably right,” I said.

I sat on the Krause’s front steps to put on my socks and shoes. I cringed when I realized in my haste I had grabbed multicolored knee highs, instead of the plain white gym socks I had intended. What was I, a teeny bopper?

When I stood up, Jake was staring at me as if in a trance. At first, I was thinking that he thought I was quite the loser. Like I might say, wait minute, I forgot my teddy bear. But then we had this moment where time seemed to stand still as we looked into each other’s eyes. It was in this moment that I perceived that the attraction was mutual. Maybe.

“Ready?” Jake asked, snapping us back to reality.

“Sure,” I replied.

He fired up the bike, and I climbed on behind him. I placed my hands on Jake’s waist just above his hips. He tensed then squirmed a little bit.

“Mary?” he said.

“Yes?”

“I’m pretty ticklish.  Could you either hold on fully around my waist or hold on to the sissy bar?” he asked.

“Oh, sure,” I replied.

I know this sounds prudish, but fully around the waist seemed too intimate for a first date. I mean ride. So I tried the sissy bar instead. But before we even left the driveway, I could tell the sissy bar wasn’t nearly as secure as around the waist.

“Jake, would you mind if I held on around your waist?” I asked.

“Not at all, it’s safer,” he said. “Also, you can wear these.”

He handed me sunglasses, and I put them on and he put some on.  He took us on a road that curved along with the river.  There was water on one side of the road and trees on the other.  As we cruised along with me blissfully clinging to his back side, I couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to cuddle with this man.  Not only that, what if he fathered my children one day?  A girl can dream, can’t she?  That simple joy ride was one of the most exhilarating moments of my life. It’s one of those special memories a person loves to visit it the mind’s eye.

JAKE

Mary Gold came bounding out of her front door, wearing faded blue jeans and a pink T-shirt that said life is good in blue and yellow lettering.  She had a pair of tennis shoes in one hand and rainbow colored socks in the other.  She came loping across the lawn looking like she could stumble and fall with each step; it made me both cringe and chuckle.

She sat on the steps.  As she covered her feet with the striped socks, I recalled something my brother once told me about the physical differences between guys and gals.

“It starts with the feet,” my brother Justin said.  “Female feet are so much better than males that not only do they paint their toenails, they accentuate them with high heels.  It only goes up and even better from there.  Shoot, I even want to hide my ugly, big feet with the knobby toes, pubic-like hair and callouses.”

 Mary Gold sucked on her lower lip as she tied her shoes.  It had a hypnotic effect on me. When she stood, the sunlight glistened on her moist lip.  It looked so soft, luscious, and sensual.  When our eyes met, there was an unspoken communication that passed between us about mutual attraction. Yet there was still guardedness on both of our demeanors.

When we were on the motorcycle getting ready to leave, she placed her hands on my sides, just above the hips.  I had never given a female a ride on my cycle before.  Heather Louise Baumgartner’s parents forbid her to ride on one.  Anyway, I’m rather ticklish when you touch my sides.  So I asked her to either wrap her arms around my waist or hold on to the sissy bar.  I was disappointed when she chose the sissy bar, and then smiled to myself when she changed her mind before we even left the driveway.

Even though we were just on a joy ride, I had a destination in mind.  Since she and her sister were both named after flowers, and there were also plenty of flowers around her house, I had a sneaking suspicion that Mary Gold liked flowers.  I took her to Ellis Park by the Cedar River, where I knew that there was a huge flower garden.  Much to my delight she absolutely loved it!

“Look at those roses!” she said, making her wind tangled hair into a ponytail with her hand and sniffing.

As I watched her, I realized that I was holding my breath.  What was it about Mary Gold that had me so captivated?   I wasn’t like this with Heather Louise Baumgartner.  Yet if Mary and Heather were walking down opposite sides of the street, dressed identically, nine out of ten guys would look at Heather over Mary Gold.

Mary was graceful, yet slightly clumsy. She was girlish, yet had a maturity beyond her years.  She was cute and beautiful, but kind of nerdy.  She seemed so nervous and insecure.  But in reality she had a faith that could move mountains.  She had a peace and a trust in Christ that could calm a tempest.

Mary Gold and I sat on a bench at the flower garden and talked for almost two hours. Any awkwardness from having newly met and being attracted to each other was gone, at least temporarily. Our conversation mostly centered on our childhoods, and concluded with God and religion. Our core beliefs were the same, but in that moment, it actually troubled me. You see, I had become disgruntled with the church I grew up in and saw it as a group of legalistic Pharisees.

Not only was I ostracized by the Baumgartner family, my own parents seemed to side with them. While they claimed love and forgiveness, they couldn’t hide their disappointment with me, and even went before the congregation and apologized for my behavior because I refused. Being eighteen, I told them I was no longer going to attend. This actually seemed to please them, which was ironic after all the years of being required to attend twice a week and sometimes three.

While it hurt at the time, hindsight is better than foresight. The simple truth was that I not only exercised poor judgement by having a condom while courting Heather, I also got caught in a most humiliating fashion.

But while there was a congregation of people that viewed me as a trouble making pervert, my own parents included, there was a group of people that saw me as a bold hero. That would be my brother and my male peers. Thankfully, no one outside of the small community I called my hometown knew of the fiasco, including my grandpa and grandma Krause.

I changed the subject with Mary Gold, pointing to an amazingly colorful sky. She and I then watched the beautiful lavender and pink colors of the sunset in silent awe.  It was a nice balm after a mostly pleasant, but by times tense conversation.  I couldn’t shake feeling kind of bad, though. She was so positive and upbeat while I was rather negative about my fellow man and religion.

It was mostly dark when we arrived back at home. I parked my motorcycle and walked her to her door.

“Thanks for the ride. It was really fun,” Mary Gold said, smiling sweetly.

“Thank you,” I said. “You’ve really got a grip on spiritual things.  You inspire me.”

She truly was an inspiration. There was something warm and sparkly about Mary that was different from the icy cold demeanor of Miss Baumgartner. To Heather’s credit, she was just reflecting the attitude of her family, not to mention the church we grew up in.

Right then it occurred to me. If Heather reflected the overall attitude of our church, just maybe, Mary Gold reflected hers. Or maybe hormones were clogging my reason.

Mary Gold’s face was aglow with her beautiful big green eyes shining in the moon light.

“Thank you. You inspire me, too,” she said.

“I do?  I feel kind of bad for how negative I was by times.”

“It’s understandable, considering what you’ve told me about your church experience.”

I didn’t even tell her about “The Great Condom Fiasco.” Man, how could I ever explain that to this angel?

“Would you want to go out for dinner Friday or Saturday night?” I heard myself ask.

 To my surprise and disappointment, the radiant smile and glow from her eyes disappeared. They were replaced with something like fear and regret.

MARY GOLD

He asked me out on a date! For some reason I wasn’t at all prepared for this. I guess I showed it because his face fell seconds after mine.

“Yes, I’d love to,” I said, touching his arm, trying to redeem the awkwardness that had just transpired.

“Great,” he said uncertainly. “How about Saturday?”

“Saturday evening?”

“Yes.”

“This coming Saturday evening?”

“Yes.”

“Sounds great then!” I said with a big smile.

He relaxed a little. “Well, goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” I replied. “Thanks again.”

“Thank you,” he said, then turned and walked away.

My heart felt like it was going to beat right out of my chest as I thought about my promise to God and vow of chastity.

“Jake,” I heard myself say.

He stopped and turned. “Yeah?”

“I have something that I need to tell you,” I said walking toward him.

“Okay,” he said, looking at me with those warm eyes in a handsome face with granite like features. At this moment I had a glimpse of understanding on how a woman could be intimate with a man she just met. I pinched the bridge of my nose, closed my eyes, and said a little prayer.

JAKE

Mary pinched her nose and bowed her head. She seemed to be in some sort of anguish. I was completely dumbfounded, yet concerned.

“Mary, are you okay?”

She looked at me with an expression similar to the face she wore when my grandmother asked me to help her change her flat tire.

“I’m a virgin,” Mary blurted. “And I plan on staying that way until I’m married.”

I was taken by surprise, yet I could feel myself smile on the inside. Mary could be so bumbling and inadequate.  I think most guys couldn’t get away from her fast enough, but I was rapidly thinking that she was the perfect woman for me.  But my feelings for her were happening so incredibly fast that I was also frightened.  Like Mary Gold, I could feel inadequate.  And to be honest, I didn’t know how to respond to what she had just told me, so I tried to joke.

“I see,” I said with a serious face. “Let’s cancel then. I figured if I took you to dinner you’d sleep with me.”

Her eyes widened with shock. “Well, I think it would be best if we canceled,” she said. “Goodnight, Mr. Weston.”

She turned abruptly, and began to walk away.  I grabbed her hand, and thankfully, she didn’t resist. “Mary, wait,” I said. “I’m a virgin, too.”

Mary’s eyes were wide again, but this time with curiosity.

“You are?” she asked.

“Yes, I’m all about waiting for marriage. I didn’t mean to make a joke of what you told me. I’ve never met anyone as straightforward as you so I didn’t know how to respond.”

“A great lo…” she began to say, and then bit her lip. Was she about to call me a great loser or great looking? She continued. “I mean, you’ve never had a girlfriend?”

I told her about Heather Louise Baumgartner.

“You two sounded pretty serious.  How’d you break up so suddenly?” Mary asked.

The great condom fiasco!  I felt ashamed and was glad it was dark in case my face reddened.

“Can I tell you some other time?  It’s pretty difficult to explain.”

“Of course,” she said.

“It’s hard to believe that we’ve only known each other for only half of a day,” I said.

Mary laughed, “I know, we’ve sure covered a lot of ground. Some of it is pretty awkward stuff.”

I nodded. “We still on for dinner then?”

“Yes, as long as you sleep with me afterward,” she said.

I felt my eyebrows raise and then form a frown as she laughed. “Gotcha.”

I laughed and my hand went to the side of her face.  What was my hand thinking?!  It acted without my approval.  I pulled it away as she looked at me with something like longing.

“Goodnight,” I said.

“Goodnight,” she said.

She turned and moved toward her door.  I turned and started walking to my grandparents’ house.  I paused and stole a quick look her way; she looked my way at the same time.  I felt caught as I smiled and waved.  She smiled and waved back, then disappeared into her house.

When I was home and in bed, reality set in and it freaked me out.  I couldn’t get to sleep. Did the subject of marriage actually come up with a girl I had known for approximately twelve hours?  As much as she intrigued me, I needed to distance myself from Mary Gold.

I already wasted two years of my life, vainly waiting for a ceremony and vows before experiencing intimacy. What was it my brother asked me? You wouldn’t by a car without a test drive, would you? Of course, that question was what motivated me into the condemn fiasco.

On the other hand, I shouldn’t be courting strict religious women anymore, anyhow. I believed in God, but I was rapidly embracing a new age philosophy that viewed sex as an avenue to spiritual growth and fulfillment. Or you could say I was being deceived by the world and the lusts of the flesh.  

But as I lay bed, reasoning with myself rather than God, I decided that Mary Gold was not for me. As intriguing as she was, I WAS NOT going to wait another two plus years to experience sexual gratification with an alluring woman. I would still take Mary Gold out to dinner, per my agreement. But then I would do all that I could to avoid her.