CHAPTER 3

It is funny the different links of circumstances that make up the chain of how things end up. So because of the misunderstanding with my girlfriend’s father, I ended up not going to college and not marrying the lovely Heather Louise Baumgartner. Nor did I go to senior prom for that matter. Instead I decided to move to Cedar Rapids and work at UPS part time with the goal of one day being one of the highest paid delivery people on the road. I know people have had loftier ambitions, but there have been even more people with less initiative.

So right after I graduated high school, in June 1985, I moved in with my grandparents, my mother’s mom and dad. They lived on the west side of Cedar Rapids, only about ten minutes from my job at UPS.  I showed up in my blue 1965 Ford pickup, with my 1981 Yamaha Midnight Maxim motorcycle in the back. My grandpa, Fred Krause, was excited to have me staying with them and greeted me with enthusiasm.

Grandpa was one of my heroes. He was a World War Two veteran and had numerous interesting experiences to share. He liked to talk about not only the war but also life in general.  His stories ranged from growing up in the railroad town of Oelwein to things that happened at work. He was drafted into the Army in April 1941 and was only supposed to be in the service for a year. Then in December there was a day that would live in infamy that kept him in the army until June of 1945. He was overseas in the European theater for three years, one month, and sixteen days in an ambulance division.

“Come here, Jake,” he said grinning, pulling me into a big bear hug.

“Hi Grandpa,” I said, returning my own enthusiastic embrace. I was now considerably bigger than him and he grunted as air whistled from his lungs; I relaxed my hug.

“My word, you’re a strong young man,” he said, still smiling, his new false teeth looking large, too white, and straight gleaming out of his wrinkled face. It looked cartoonish and I began to chuckle. His smile faded a little.

“What’s so funny?” he wanted to know.

“Did you get new teeth?” I asked.

“Yes,” he replied frowning. “You don’t like them?”

“They just seem kind of, ha ha, big,” I told him. “Your old ones looked so natural.”

“Oh my!” I heard my grandma, Maria, say as she patted her short brown and white hair as she entered the living room. “I didn’t think you were coming until later this afternoon.”

Grandpa pointed his bushy, frowning eyebrows at my grandmother.

“I told you these teeth looked ridiculous,” Grandpa said. “I’m taking them back.”

“You can’t take them back,” she said.

“You should keep them Grandpa,” I said.

“You do like them?” he asked, his bushy brows rising.

“Yeah, they’re funny,” I said.

His bushy brows dropped into another frown and scowl.

Grandma hugged me and I was careful to make sure my return hug was softer than the one I gave Grandpa.

“Why are you so early?” she wanted to know.

I shrugged. “I just figured I’d get here and leave myself plenty of time to get settled.”

“The house is a mess,” she declared. “I was going to clean up after lunch. Well, get your things and come in, at least your room is ready.”

Grandpa helped me carry my things in. We talked a bit while we did. Grandma’s house was immaculate as usual, despite her disclaimer. Unless you consider the book Grandpa was reading sitting nice and square on an end table a mess.

“So you’re starting at UPS Monday?” he said.

“Yeah.”

“Good paying job when you’re driving there.”

“Yeah.”

“You really have to go there, you really have to move.”

“Yeah.”

“Can’t get in any accidents.”

“Yeah.”

“They’ll can ya if ya do.”

“Yeah.”

“Good pay though, when you get on full time.”

“Yeah.”

“How long you plan on staying with us?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah what?”

“Huh? Oh I’m sorry Grandpa. I’m not sure. I haven’t really thought that far ahead yet. If I hate working at UPS, I might just go to college after all. Or back home and work with Dad.”

“I think you should go to college myself to become a pharmacist.  All they do is count pills. Great pay, too.”

I chuckled. “I think there’s more to being a pharmacist than just counting pills.”

He frowned and waved a hand at me. “You stay here as long as you want to, though. No sense paying for a place when we have plenty of room here. Glad to have you, too.”

“Thanks, Grandpa,” I said, giving him an affectionate smile followed by a shoulder pat.

He laughed, putting an arm around my waist and tugging a couple of times.

“You’re a good boy!” he declared.

“You guys are awesome grandparents,” I replied.

I had been unpacking for a while when I realized that I urgently needed to use the restroom. My mother had made a large batch of sun tea, and I filled one of those mini water coolers with plenty of ice and tea. By the time I loaded my truck and drove the forty five miles to my grandparents, it was gone.

My grandparents had two bathrooms. Grandma was taking a shower in the upstairs bathroom. Checking the downstairs bathroom, I was just in time to hear the exhaust fan click on. Grandpa was going to be a while and I was just gonna have to suck it up.

Shortly after I was back in my room, I noticed a white Ford Escort pull into the neighboring driveway. A slender young woman wearing a yellow sundress got out. She had shoulder length, auburn hair, and big almond shaped eyes with a button nose. She looked like a cute doll that came to life. She opened the back door to the car and bent to retrieve something. She bumped her head, stood, and rubbed it for a few seconds. Then she stooped back down, grabbed some bags, and disappeared from view as she headed toward the house.

I put away a few more things and then the young lady was back. Half of her body disappeared into the back seat of the car, then reappeared holding a banana box of which the bottom broke scattering a pile of papers. Good thing it wasn’t windy. She put her hands on her hips and frowned. Then she stepped over the pile and slipped on a bunch of papers. She went down hard on her hands and knees, and I flinched. To my surprise she got up giggling, brushed herself off, and then returned to the house.

I’m not one that believes in love at first sight, but lust at first sight most definitely. I will say this though, as I spied on the young woman who would one day be my wife, and she laughed at her misfortune, I felt something way beyond lust stir. Her wholesome beauty certainly stirred the pot.

She returned with some bags and began gathering the papers. As she bent over a little bit of cleavage appeared. I’m ashamed to acknowledge that I became enraptured with this sight. As a matter of fact, I was in such deep concentration, I didn’t hear my grandfather come bend over me and place his mouth an inch from my head.

“Pretty gal, isn’t she?” his warm breath said into my ear.

Remember that I needed to relieve myself? Well, somewhere between ten or twenty percent came out right then. Not only that, I rammed my head into the windowsill. It was hard enough and we were close enough that the young lady looked in our direction. Thankfully, she went right back to her work.

“Grandpa, what are doing sneaking up on me?” I asked in a hushed tone.

“I wasn’t sneaking,” he answered in a louder than normal voice with his old false teeth now in his mouth.

“Alright, alright,” I said, peering outside to see if the young lady heard. She didn’t seem to.

Grandpa gestured his head toward the window and grinned. “Pretty little thing, isn’t she?”

I shrugged, “I suppose.”

The smile left his face. “You and that Heather gal still an item?”

“No,” I said quickly.

Thankfully, he didn’t ask me anymore about it. You know how grandparents can be. Instead he kept his focus on the present.

“You ought to get to know Mary Gold, she’s a sweetheart.

“Her name is Marigold, like the flower?” I asked.

“Well, her first name is Mary, her middle name is Gold,” he told me. “She has an older sister named Lily Rose. I guess their mother, Petunia, loves flowers.”

“Her mother’s name is Petunia!”

Grandpa laughed a deep belly laugh. “I’m just teasing. Her mother’s name is Joyce. Hey, come on and I’ll introduce you.”

“No Grandpa! No thanks, I can meet gals on my own.”

“She’s not a gal,” he said.

“She’s not? Awfully feminine looking dude.”

“I meant she’s your new neighbor.  I’m not trying to set you up or anything. Just getting you a new friend. If someday it goes beyond friend, well…”

I know Grandpa wasn’t lying to me and he was sincere. However, I know in the heat of the moment that he’d say something like, “Jake here is an eligible bachelor. You still single Mary Gold?”

“No offense Grandpa, but I just want to quietly get settled.”

He seemed kind of hurt, and I felt kind of bad, but it would have been way too awkward to go meet the “pretty gal.” He pursed his lips and nodded.

I thought I would get settled and meet her in a couple days on my own. In reality, it would be a couple of months.