CXIV

IF ANYONE IS IN CHRIST, THEY ARE A NEW CREATION; OLD THINGS HAVE PASSED AWAY; BEHOLD, ALL THINGS HAVE BECOME NEW

2 CORINTHIANS 5:17

MARCELLA KNIGHT STORM

Would you believe that it was a graphic adult video that was the turning point in my healing and restoration?

Don’t misunderstand me. I am not advocating pornography at all. It is disgusting and degrading, and everyone should steer far and clear of it. So I had better explain how a sickening video changed my life.

A year ago at this time I was a prostitute. Not by choice. I was sixteen, and a victim of human trafficking. Long story short, I was not only afraid of my captors, but I was also afraid of the outside world. So for the most part I cooperated, and gave my body, and unwittingly my soul, to my role as a sex slave.

I lived in almost constant fear. I despised my past, hated the present, and feared the future. I disliked my life and longed to die. Yet, I was also scared of death, even though I told myself I was an atheist.

Then eight year old Oralee, my light, entered my dark world. She’s the first person I ever loved. And it was love for her that caused me to act boldly, and step out in a faith I didn’t even know I possessed. I couldn’t stand the thought of what our evil captors would do to her and what she would become. So we escaped.

When we fled the house of perversion, it was initially a success. By that I mean no one detected or gave chase. But it was late winter in the Midwest and we had little more than the clothes on our backs. By the grace of God, we made a makeshift shelter under an old railroad bridge and managed to stay moderately warm.

By a miracle of God, realized by Oralee’s prayers, we were somehow found by three righteous people. Sevenia Sallie had a dream about us. She felt so strongly about it that she, Destiny Knight-Storm, and Destiny’s husband Brock, hiked through snow and dense woods to discover us.

Sevenia wasn’t much older than me. Even though she has auburn hair and emerald eyes, she has a bit of a Hispanic look to her and could pass for Oralee’s sister. Ora, my little Mexican angel, and now my legal sister.

Destiny, with her honey blonde hair and blue eyes, looks like she could be my biological mother. But I don’t give a hoot about biology. My birth mother cared more about drugs than me, and ultimately turned my life into a living nightmare. For the last nine months, Destiny has been a mother, and more to me. She’s been a friend, a comfort, a counselor, and an inspiration.

Then there’s Brock, my dad. He’s the first man I ever loved. But I’m not gonna lie, he scared me at first. In my previous world, I had never known a good man. And Brock is all man. He’s built like a pro wrestler, or football player or something. Plus, even though he is movie star handsome, he has a few sinister scars on his face that make him look even more intimidating. Especially the one that curls from his lip like a sinister grin.

All of a sudden, I had a loving family, but I still had a lot of baggage. Destiny talked me into being treated by a Christian psychologist named Jamie Northrup. She is the daughter of Mary Gold and Jake Weston, who I had read about in Johnathan Ember’s e-book ‘Spoiled Produce.’ Jamie herself even appears at the end of this romantic comedy.

I reluctantly agreed to see her, but mostly because the book ‘Spoiled Produce’ intrigued me. Also, Jamie looked a lot like one of my favorite entertainers, Lindsey Stirling. Her mother Mary Gold also looked similar to the dancing violinist, but of course older.

Mrs. Northrup had her work cut out for her with me. She was patient, yet persevering. She would push me hard, but then pull back. Counseling doesn’t do any good if you hold stuff in, or especially if you are not truthful. She finally brought me to a breaking point, that turned out to be a breakthrough.

I was making full eye contact with her for the first time, but I was frustrated. Her large pretty eyes were demanding, yet kind and patient. Her face seemed unworried, and I thought, what does she really care? This is just her job.

I took in her White turtleneck, her tan corduroy skirt, white tights, and white shoes. She seemed as pure as the driven snow. For the first time in one of our sessions, I barked at her. “What would you know about being used, being taken advantage of! All you have is book learning. How do you know what it feels like in the real world? You can’t possibly know even a fraction of my nightmare!”

She gazed at me patiently and sympathetically. I wanted to slap her face, even though she didn’t at all deserve it. Instead I rose hastily and marched to the door.

“If I tell you a dark secret about myself, will you promise me that it doesn’t leave this room?” She asked me.

For some reason this caused me to freeze with my hand on the doorknob. I didn’t fully understand my motive for stopping my intended departure. I suppose curiosity. I wanted to know what could possibly be a dark secret to this wholesome wife and mother of two. I turned to look at her. I have no idea what my expression looked like. I’m guessing it was both skeptical and hostile. She unlocked a desk drawer and showed me a disc.

“Okay, I’m listening,” I told her, folding my arms in defiance.

“First, I want you to give me your word that this stays strictly between you and me,” she demanded. “Only two other people at Cotton Creek Cove know this secret of mine, and I want to keep it that way.”

She extended a hand. I took it, and we shook. Then I said, “I promise.”

“When I was in college, I was in a pornographic video.”

After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I said, “You did porn?”

“No,” she replied, shaking her head. “I was tricked, and betrayed.”

I frowned. “I don’t understand.”

She explained how she had subtly relinquished the principles she grew up with during college. She began to drink socially, and get kissy with a guy that she dated. Both continued to gradually escalate. One drink at a party became two, and kissing with the next guy she dated also involved touching. Then the third guy she dated, she thought was extra special, maybe even “the one.”

Although they had dated only a short time, she was smitten. He was sweet, smart, and charming. It also didn’t hurt that he was absolutely gorgeous and came from money. She felt out of his league, but he convinced her that he loved how different she was. He kept telling her that she was the ultimate nerdy, but cute and sexy librarian type. That led to a St. Patrick’s Day party and the video.

She placed the disc back into her drawer and shut it with a click of the lock.

“I look at this disc before every visit we have,” Mrs. Northrup said. “I’m not saying what I went through was worse than your experience. It wasn’t. But it was still the most horrific, humiliating experience of my life, and I feel like it helps me relate to you better having gone through it. God can take curses, and turn them into blessings if we let Him.”

“Can I watch it?” I asked quietly.

I could easily see the surprise in her eyes. The dignified, articulate psychologist stammered. “No…I…I mean I don’t think that would be a good idea.”

“I can guarantee you that without even seeing the video, I’ve seen worse, participated in worse.”

“There, you see, there’s no point in you seeing it then.”

“How can I fully relate to you like you want if I don’t see what you’ve experienced?”

“My husband’s never even seen it, but he knows about it. He understands the pain and shame it caused me.”

“I’m guessing your husband wasn’t a teenage prostitute,” I replied, feeling very angry for some reason as I reached for the doorknob.

“You can watch it,” she blurted as I began to exit the room.

I turned to face her. Then something occurred to me and I looked at the clock. Our session was over in five minutes, and I doubted she was going to let me take it home. Understanding what I was thinking, she said, “My next appointment cancelled today. We can go extra long.”

She stood, motioning for me to follow with a finger. We went into an adjoining room which was a small private office. There was a sixteen inch TV with a DVR. She turned on the tube, slid the disc in a slot, invited me to sit in a desk chair and instructed. “As soon as I leave, hit play. I happen to know the entire video is twenty six minutes long. I’ll be back in twenty seven.”

The video began with two guys sitting on a bed in a small room. They both were wearing green t-shirts with some type of saying on them, and jeans. One of the guys was, forgive me, rather homely. Big nose, narrow eyes, and a satanic grin that made me want to punch him in the mouth. He was quite muscular and stocky. The other guy was very attractive. He had to be Jamie’s suitor. Short brown hair, gelled just so, dark blue eyes, a lean, muscular build, and a cocky grin that could be mistaken for confidence.

The two guys mentioned Jamie and a bet. The pretty guy had bet the other guy fifty dollars that before the clock struck twelve midnight, he would, not only deflower Jamie, but record the event as proof. The other guy then demanded that with no visual, no cash. The two pretend men shook on it.

The video then cut to the bed, but now empty. After a few seconds the sound of a door shutting and voices could be heard. The pretty boy sat on the bed, and with a sweet, charming smile, extended a hand. A female arm came into view, and the pretty boy gently grasped some dainty fingers and Jamie, fifteen years younger, came into view and sat next to him on the bed.

She was wearing a green t-shirt with the name of an Irish pub on it. She also wore a green plaid skirt, and green and white striped tights. I couldn’t see below their knees. The couple immediately began kissing passionately. After a minute pretty boy began touching her. When he tried to go under the clothes however, Jamie giggled and stopped him.

He began talking softly to her. I couldn’t hear what he was saying, but his eyes looked dreamily into hers. They began kissing again. Once again, she stopped an aggressive advance, only now instead of giggling, she looked confused. And once again he looked dreamily into her eyes. This time he took both her hands into his as he spoke. She smiled sweetly at him, nodded, bit her lip nervously, and the two undressed.

I’m not gonna describe the next several minutes, but lets just say pretty boy recorded ample proof that he took Jamie’s virginity. When they were finished, instead of kissing her tenderly, and settling in for a cuddle, pretty boy quickly exited the bed and retrieved the hidden video recorder. He returned to the bed with an extreme close up of Jamie.

“What are you doing?” You could clearly hear Jamie ask with a disturbing edge in her voice. Then she shrieked, making my skin crawl. “Is that a video recorder?”

“Smile, you’re on candid camera!” Pretty boy exclaimed merrily.

Her hand came toward the camera and you could hear it clattering to the floor as the video went mostly dark. A few seconds later, the picture came into focus as the viewer witnessed Jamie hastily throwing her shirt on, and then her skirt on as she muttered with desperation, but unintelligible.

She gathered up her undergarments and stumbled toward the door. She glanced at the camera on her way. Her horror stricken face was tear streaked. Then the screen went black, and as if on cue, Jamie came into the room. She didn’t make eye contact with me, but wore a stoic expression, and releasing a clenched jaw, spoke one word. “Well?”

As her patient, I didn’t know if  it was appropriate, but I softly said her first name. “Jamie.”

She looked at me and gave a little gasp. Her reaction was probably due to the tears streaming from my eyes, and my lower lip trembling uncontrollably. I stood. What Jamie did next was probably not appropriate for a therapist, but then again, neither was the video she shared. Regardless, I didn’t care. I relished it when she stepped quickly to me and we hugged.

We both sobbed as we held each other tight. We were no longer client and patient, but sisters in Christ. You see, it was shortly after this particular session with Jamie that I gave my life to Jesus. I began to realize for the first time that the past is past, and the present is present, regardless of all the ugly reminders.

(DESTINY’S BIBLE STUDY NOTES AND QUOTES)

(The LIFE and MINISTRY of JESUS Part VII)

From His earliest years, the child Jesus was surrounded with the requirements of the rabbis. Rigid rules were prescribed for every act, down to the smallest details of life. Under the synagogue teachers the youth were instructed in the countless regulations which as orthodox Israelites they were expected to observe.

But Jesus did not interest Himself in these matters. From childhood He acted independently of the rabbinical laws. The Scriptures of the Old Testament were His constant study, and the words “Thus saith the Lord,” were ever upon His lips.

Because He was so gentle and unobtrusive, the scribes and elders supposed that He would be easily influenced by their teaching. They urged Him to receive the maxims and traditions that had been handed down from the ancient rabbis, but He asked for their authority in Holy Writ. He would hear every word that proceeds from the mouth of God; but He could not obey the inventions of men.

At a very early age, Jesus had begun to act for Himself in the formation of character.

Great contradictions presented themselves in Jesus. He was the divine Son of God, and yet a helpless child.

Jesus was the Creator of the worlds, the earth was His possession, and yet poverty marked His life experience at every step. He possessed a dignity and individuality wholly distinct from earthly pride and assumption. He did not strive for worldly greatness, and in even the lowliest position He was content.

He had become poor that through His poverty we might be rich. (2 Corinthians 8:9)

Often Jesus’s forbearance and kindness were termed cowardice. Of the bitterness that falls to the lot of humanity, there was no part which Christ did not taste.

Jesus did not contend for His rights. Often His work was made unnecessarily severe because He was willing and uncomplaining. Yet He did not fail or become discouraged. He lived above these difficulties, as if in the light of God’s countenance. He did not retaliate when roughly used, but bore insult patiently.

He taught all to look upon themselves as endowed with precious talents, which if rightly employed would secure for them eternal riches.

He weeded all vanity from life, and by His own example taught that every moment is fraught with eternal results. He passed by no human being as worthless, but sought to apply the saving remedy to every soul.

Through childhood, youth, and manhood, Jesus walked alone. In His purity and His faithfulness, He carried the awful weight of responsibility for the salvation of humanity.