CXI

WHY ARE YOU CAST DOWN, OH MY SOUL? HOPE IN GOD

PSALM 43:5

DESTINY KNIGHT-STORM

“Dee, can we talk?” FBI Agent Nora Medora asked me after she arrived at our home one minute after Seven dashed upstairs to see Oscar.

I glanced at my husband, who happened to be her ex, and he arched an inquisitive eyebrow. She seemed in a contrite mood, so I suspected it was something personal rather than police business. Besides, there was no reason that I knew of to question me in an FBI matter. I shrugged and smiled. “Sure, have a seat.”

“No,” she barked. Then smiled apologetically. “I mean alone, maybe go for a little walk.”

She and I both looked at Brock as if for permission. He shoved his hands in his pockets dejectedly, but joked. “Fine, I can take a hint when I’m not wanted. I’ll just go eaves drop on Seven and Oscar.”

“Sweetie, don’t!” I implored.

“I’m just joking,” Brock responded with a laugh.

“I knew as soon as I saw Seven dash from his house that he was coming here,” Nora said with a dry chuckle, “I was just at his place seeing what he knew about Oscar’s and Felix’s secret relationship.”

“How does it feel to disrupt so many lives?” Brock teased.

“Not good,” Nora said quietly. “Not good at all.”

She turned and abruptly walked out the door. I snagged a jacket off the rack and had to walk fast to keep up with her. She headed for the swing set Brock had built for our adopted daughter Oralee and the Easton kids, who we had always joked were our adopted grandkids.

Nora plopped herself onto a swing and sighed. “Sometimes I wish I smoked.”

“That seems contradictory for someone who loves to run,” I said lightheartedly.

She snorted a non-humorous laugh. “That’s precisely why I don’t.”

“Not to mention that they’ll kill you.”

“That part is irrelevant to me,” she replied bitterly, and I felt myself tense.

Nora was dressed all in black from her turtleneck down to her pumps. Even the sunglasses perched in her short black hair had black frames. Speaking of black, she must have recently colored her hair because when she helped us with the girls we rescued from sex traffickers, there was quite a bit of salt sprinkled into her raven hair.

She stared straight ahead trance like, and I gently asked. “So, what did you want to talk to me about?”

She turned her gaze on me and I noticed just how weary she looked. Purple half moons hung beneath her intense dark eyes. She shrugged and forced a smile. “Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.”

“Okay,” I replied with a cautious smile. “I do like and appreciate all of those things. Where do you want to start?”

She looked away from me and opened her mouth. The words seemed to get stuck in her throat and she closed her mouth. I crossed one leg over the other and poked anxiously at a little hole in the knee of my old, faded jeans.

“I’m sorry, this was a mistake,” Nora blurted and began to rise.

I caught her arm, and she glared at me. It occurred to me that Nora had some type of emotional problem. If ever there was a person that kept things bottled up and didn’t want to talk about them, it was Nora. I smiled warmly, and she eased back into the swing.

“Dee, do you like me?” she asked testily.

“Huh?” I asked with a puzzled frown.

“I haven’t always been very nice to you,” she said quietly. “I’ve even been downright nasty. Especially when we first were getting to know each other.”

“That’s understandable,” I shrugged. “We both had a thing for Brock.”

“But, at the time, he was mine,” she lamented. “Yet I was the one playing the jealous, possessive idiot.”

“Declining to marry him, and basically saying he should be with me, was anything but a jealous, possessive idiot.”

(The saga we are recalling was detailed in the e-book Knight Storm by Johnathan Embers.)

“Leaving him, literally at the altar, was the most shameful thing I’ve ever done in my life,” Nora admitted as she shook her head.

“I thought it was pretty noble myself.”

“Yeah, how so?” Nora challenged. Then added, “Because you ended up with the prize?”

“I didn’t look at Brock as a prize,” I said and then frowned, not liking the way that sounded. “Wait, that came out wrong. What I mean is that I didn’t look at that circumstance as a contest. I felt like I was in love with Brock. But I wasn’t sure if it was genuine, or due to years of infatuation and fantasy. So I left it in God’s hands. When he asked you to marry him and you said yes, I thought it was an answer to prayer. And that made me perfectly content.”

“So that’s why you were so cool and nonchalant standing up as my maid of honor,” Nora declared, and then asked, “Can I be perfectly honest with you?”

I took her hand, gave it a gentle squeeze, and offered my sweetest smile. “No, Nora, please lie to me.”

She actually laughed, and so did I. For the first time in our awkward relationship, I felt a real bond with Nora. She gave my hand a gentle squeeze. “I like you Dee, I really do.”

“I like you too, Nora.”

She arched an inquisitive eyebrow, and I admitted, “I haven’t always like you, truth, but I have always loved you.”

The inquisitive eyebrow arched even higher, “That sounds like an oxymoron.”

“No, it’s not,” I said. “Jesus loved Judas. But he didn’t like his behavior.”

“Wow, I’m no Bible scholar by any means. But I don’t think I like being compared to Judas Iscariot,” Nora said, and thankfully laughed.

“Trust me, I wasn’t comparing you to Judas,” I replied, also laughing. “I was just giving an example of loving without liking. Anyway, I have consistently prayed for you. I have also been aware that you and Brock would remain friends, even though I wasn’t your favorite person. So I have also prayed for our relationship.”

She nodded, and we were quiet for a moment. I perceived that liking me wasn’t what she wanted to be honest about. So I prodded her to continue, and she complied.

“I did love Brock,” Nora began. “Still do in a just friends sort of way. But I didn’t really want to marry Brock. I guess that’s pretty obvious since I left him at the altar. My main motive was jealousy. I didn’t want you to have him. My main motive for asking you to be my maid of honor was to rub it in your face.

“But you were so nonchalant and seemed to not care a wit that I was about to marry Brock. That factored as much into my decision to not go through with it as my actual fear of being yoked to another person that way.”

“How?” I couldn’t help asking.

“I figured you were still into women, and that’s why you didn’t seem to care about Brock getting married. No offense.”

“None taken.”

“So you’re not ashamed of same sex romance like Oscar is?”

“I’m very ashamed of my career in adult entertainment. But I’m no more ashamed of being romantically involved with a woman than I am of, say, drinking or smoking.”

Nora nodded. “I regret being the one that brought his secret to light. It was another investigator that made the discovery of Oscar and Felix’s secret. I guess I just made it known here.”

“Well, you shouldn’t have any regrets. I was there when you asked to talk to Oscar in private. He’s the one that insisted Brock and I stay.”

Nora shrugged and snorted a laugh. Then her gaze into my eyes became somber. She quietly asked, “How’d you do it, Dee?”

“Do what?”

“You almost killed yourself, right?”

“I did.”

“So how did you go from being a drug addled sexpot to this beautiful, wholesome woman of love and joy. Instead of becoming a corpse, you’ve become a beacon of light that has been a blessing to so many people. Your family and friends, and all those girls you’ve pulled out of adult entertainment. I want to eat crow and admit I’m impressed with you. I want to know how you did it.”

“It wasn’t me, it was God,” I told her. “That moment in time when I almost ended it all, God saved me.”

“Why you and not so many others?” she asked angrily.

“I believe God moves upon all hearts. Some respond, some don’t. By the grace of God and the help of Godly people, I did. Without my Aunt Belle and her God fearing influence, I might still have ended up a corpse.”

“I’ve seen so much depravity in my line of work. So many victims. Where was God for them, Dee? I still don’t get it. Why you and not us?”

When she included herself, her voice had become strained and her pain made my eyes feel like a dam holding back a flood of tears. She sighed and rested her elbows on her knees. I impulsively began to gently rub her upper back. At first I regretted it, but when she gave a little whimper, it occurred to me that the Holy Spirit prompted the love and human touch she needed.

After a minute, she sat up straight and gazed at me stoically. “Dee, I was hoping you could help me.”

“Okay,” I replied meekly, and silently prayed for strength and wisdom.

She tilted her head back. The underside of her chin was black and blue. There was also a red circle about the size of a dime in the center of the discolored flesh. It was obviously some type of injury. She apparently had been threatened by criminals. Was it Dalial or people involved with the mysterious being?

“What happened, Nora?”

“A pistol was shoved hard under my chin, but thankfully the gun jammed when the trigger was pulled.”

“Oh no! Nora, who did this to you?”

“I did,” she replied quietly. “The night before last, I tried to end my life.”

(DESTINY’S BIBLE STUDY NOTES AND QUOTES)

The LIFE and MINISTRY of JESUS Part IV

The light of God is ever shining amid the darkness heathenism. As the magi studied the starry heavens, and sought to fathom the mystery hidden in their bright paths, they beheld the glory of the Creator. Seeking clearer knowledge, they turned to the Hebrew Scriptures.

The wise men had seen a mysterious light in the heavens upon that night when the glory of God flooded the hills of Bethlehem. As the light faded, a luminous star appeared, and lingered in the sky. It was not a fixed star or planet, and the phenomenon excited the keenest interest.

That star was a distant company of angels, but of this the wise men were ignorant. Yet they were impressed that the star was of special import to them. They consulted priests and philosophers, and searched the scrolls of the ancient records.

The prophecy of Balaam declared. “There shall come a star out of Jacob, and a Scepter shall rise out of Israel.” (Numbers 24:17)

Could this strange star have been sent as a harbinger of the Promised One? The magi had welcomed the light of heaven sent truth; now it was shed upon them in brighter rays. Through dreams they were instructed to go in search of the newborn Prince.

With eager steps the wise men journey to Bethlehem, confidently expecting the Messiah’s birth to be the joyful topic of every tongue. But their inquiries are in vain. They enter the holy city, and to their amazement, they find none who seem to have a knowledge of the newborn King.

Their questions call forth no expressions of joy, but rather of surprise and fear, not unmingled with contempt.

The priests are rehearsing traditions. They extol their religion and their own piety. Even among these appointed guardians of the Holy Oracles their eager questionings touch no chord of sympathy.

The arrival of the magi was quickly noised throughout Jerusalem. Their errand created an excitement among the people, which penetrated to the palace of King Herod.

Arriving at Bethlehem they found no royal guard stationed to protect the newborn King. None of the world’s honored men were in attendance. Jesus was cradled in a manger. His parents, uneducated peasants, were His only human guardians.

Beneath the lowly guise of Jesus, they recognized the presence of Divinity. They gave their hearts to Him as their Savior, and then poured out their gifts—“gold, frankincense, and myrrh.” What a faith was theirs!

Such was the Savior’s reception when He came to earth. There seemed to be no place of rest or safety for the infant Redeemer. God could not trust His beloved Son with men, even while carrying forward His work for their salvation. He commissioned angels to attend Jesus and protect Him till He should accomplish His mission on earth, and die by the hands of those whom He came to save.