LXXXII

MAN’S GOINGS ARE OF THE LORD; HOW CAN A MAN THEN UNDERSTAND HIS OWN WAY?

PROVERBS 20:24

SEVENIA SALLIE (GIRL PROPHETESS)

Captain Kirk sighed heavily as we climbed into my car and prepared to make our way home from Hannibal, Missouri. After stopping for a quick bite to eat, we should still make it home just before sunset. I didn’t like driving after dark in my little Dodge Dart.

“Are you too old for this, Captain Crunchy?” I asked lightheartedly.

He glanced at me with hooded eyes and said softly, “Yes, I am.”

“After all, you are 85,” I said merrily. “I mean counting conception of course.”

“I feel like Methuselah,” he replied.

“Well, you’re just a kid then! You’ll still live another 884 years.”

“Lord have mercy,” he said, and then sighed again.

We had spent a couple hours longer than anticipated talking to Susan Nelson. She had had two discordant conversations with the good Pastor fifty years previous when he was an army chaplain. One of which she actually accused him of killing her sister.

Sherry, Susan’s sister, had ended her young life only hours after Captain Kirk, then a Captain and Chaplain in the U.S. Army, had spent the better part of an afternoon talking and counseling with Sherry. It also had been just three days since Sherry had found out her fiancée, Corporal Timothy Williams, had been killed in Vietnam.

During our recent visit with Susan, she had admitted regret over her accusation that the good Pastor contributed to her sister’s motives for her suicide. She acknowledged that they were said out of hurt and anger, rather than a belief that he was actually was responsible in some way.

Then she told us that after her mother passed away a few months previous, she was going through things in her mother’s house. She came across a group of letters that Corporal Timothy Williams had written to Sherry. In one that was dated not long before he died, Timothy had confessed to the brief fling he had had with Susan.

The realization that her sister likely knew of her betrayal when she killed herself, devastated Susan to the point that an unknown heart condition came to the forefront, giving her a brush with her own mortality. Her guilt also plagued her to the point that she felt a need to come clean to my dear friend, pastor, and sort of grandpa.

We drove in silence for quite a while with Captain Kirk staring blankly out the windshield. I knew he was tired, and he was, as he liked to say, a seasoned citizen. So as much as I wanted to talk about our afternoon with Susan, I kept a zipped lip. But then the spry old fella must have gotten a second wind. He said, “So what do you think, Kiddo?”

“Well, like my dad would have said, life is a strange trip.”

Pastor chuckled, “Tis indeed.”

“What do you think, Grandpa?”

“Normally I’m not in the habit of second guessing. Whether the person I’m counseling with needs encouragement or a swift kick in the hinny, I come with the attitude that I’m only human, too. I pray for guidance, and then walk in the Spirit, and let the chips fall where they may. Let go and let God if you please.”

“But?”

“But,” the Good Pastor said with a sigh. “Susan and I have a history. Not a very pleasant history at that. It was really odd counseling with someone, albeit informally, who had accused you of killing their sister. Then she finds out half a century later that she very likely could have contributed to her sister’s suicide. I can’t stop wondering if my analogy to her of David and Bathsheba was a mistake. Maybe too harsh of an example.”

“Why? How can you go wrong with that? David not only committed adultery with Uriah’s wife, but he also ended up getting Uriah killed so he could have her. Yet David was also known as a man after God’s own heart. When God, through Nathan the Prophet, made known to David his great sin; David humbled himself, repented, and God forgave his enormous sin.”

“Yes,” Pastor agreed. “But he also suffered terribly for the consequences of his sins. That’s the part I’m second guessing. Susan has already been extremely distraught over finding out that her sister likely knew of her tryst with Timmy.”

“Correct, Grandpa,” I said softly. “She has already suffered consequences with heavy remorse. So much so that it aggravated an unknown heart condition, which in turn led her to contact you to make amends.”

“Hmm, good point, Kiddo,” he replied with a little grin. “There’s a reason I make you hang out with me, you’re smart.”

I giggled. “There’s no make about it. I love to hang out with you, Grandpa.”

“Likewise, Dear Child,” he said with a smile and gave my knee a pat. Now he sighed contentedly. “I’m just gonna move on and be glad it’s over. What a shame though. Two sisters that were quite close growing up, ends with betrayal and a self-imposed death. What a shame!

A minute later, Pastor began to softly whistle a hymn and tap his foot. This told me he wasn’t tired. I decided to broach a subject with him about his own sibling. I knew there was some type of discord between them, and that they hadn’t spoken in years. The strange thing is, I know the Pastor is truly a Godly man, so I couldn’t imagine he would hold a grudge. Yet the couple times I tried to get him to talk about his brother, he immediately avoided it. I decided to give it a third try. It would either be three times a charm, so to speak, or three strikes and I was out.

“Sir, can I ask you a question?”

“Sir?” the Good Pastor inquired with an arched, furry white eyebrow. “Question?”

“Yes.”

“Maybe.”

“On the way down, you told me quite a bit about going to college, your time in the military, and your sixty year marriage. But you’ve never talked much about your childhood.”

“Not much to tell,” he said with a shrug. “Typical country boy upbringing.”

“What about siblings? I know you had a brother, any other siblings?”

“Nope, just Sonny and me.”

“Sonny Samson?” I giggled. My eyes also widened in surprise that he offered this tidbit so freely. The first time I had asked about siblings, he said something like I don’t want to go there. The second time he said not now. I felt hopeful this would go somewhere.

“His given name is Clint. I’m two years older, and I was known as Sammy. I guess since our peers made me a nickname out of the first part of my last name, they decided to give Clint a nickname on the second half of our last name.”

“How long were you called Sammy? The only nickname for you I’ve ever known was Captain Kirk.”

“Until I started going with the lovely gal who would become my wife. We were both called Sammy, but people seemed to think she had a more legitimate claim to Sammy, I guess.”

“That’s right, your wife was known as Sammy, wasn’t she?”

“She was. Her first name was Samantha. When we married, she became a double Sam.”

“Sammy Samson, I like that.”

“There was nothing not to like about my dear Sammy,” the Good Pastor said, then his voice cracked. “I miss her every day. God rest her precious soul.”

I swallowed down a lump in my throat and gently guided the Good Captain back to the subject of his brother. “So, Grandpa, how come you and your brother don’t get along?”

“The issue is with him,” he shrugged. “I’ve tried to make peace with him several times, but I was rejected every time.”

“So, what’s his beef with you?”

“It actually started when we were kids. I guess you could say it was sibling rivalry, only I like to think I didn’t participate, other than just going about my life. It was a gradual slide that I honestly believe was his fault. I’ve examined and reexamined our relationship hundreds of times. God forgive me, but I don’t see what I did that should have pulled us apart so severely. I think at the crux of the  problem, I was a mama’s boy, and he was a papa pleaser.”

“So, kind of like Jacob and Esau?” I giggled.

“You know, to be honest, I thought of that myself. Only we weren’t twins, and I was two years older. Plus, the last big riff did have to do with an inheritance.”

“So, did you pretend to be him, and give your father savory meat?” I teased.

“No, Kiddo,” the Good Pastor chuckled. “But it did have to do with food, in an indirect sort of way.”

“It did?” I replied with a puzzled frown.

“The family farm,” he said. “You know, the growing of food.”

“I see,” I chuckled. “So, you two were never close then.”

“Actually we were like best friends as children. Playing in the woods, hunting, fishing, doing chores, helping Dad with planting and harvest. Things didn’t really start to go awry until high school. By then, I became quite academic and turned into a bit of a book worm. Clint struggled to get C’s, but he excelled at sports. I had given up all sports in high school, except for baseball. I was really into church and church activities. Clint was popular, dated a lot, and liked to drink beer with the guys. We just slowly lost common interests.”

“I understand you two were quite different,” I said. “But it still doesn’t seem like stuff that should put you on nonspeaking terms.”

“He’s the one on nonspeaking terms, Kiddo. Like I said, I tried to make peace several times, but to no avail. Plus, this whole riff started slow and then snow balled when we were both in the military.”

“Was he a captain in the Army, too?” I inquired, and knew better to ask if he was a chaplain.

“He was a sergeant in the Marines, twenty-four years.”

“I see. Does he live in another state?”

“No, last I knew, he lives in the Amana Colonies.”

“Pastor! That’s only five miles away!”

“I know, Kiddo,” he chuckled without humor.

“You’re practically neighbors with your brother and you don’t speak.?”

“Like I said, it’s his decision, not mine.”

I made my own decision. I would speak with Captain Kirk’s brother!

(DESTINY”S BIBLE STUDY NOTES AND QUOTES)

(SERMON ON THE MOUNT PART 2)

“Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.” Matthew 5:4

The mourning  Jesus speaks of here is true heart sorrow for sin.

Jesus says, “I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all men unto me.” John 12:32

As one is drawn to behold Jesus lifted up on the cross, they discern the sinfulness of humanity. They see that it is sin which scourged and crucified the Lord. They see that while they have been loved with unspeakable tenderness by Jesus, their life has been a continual scene of ingratitude and rebellion. They have forsaken their best friend and abused heaven’s most precious gift. They are separated from God by a gulf of sin that is broad and black and deep, and they mourn in brokenness of heart.

How many there are who would never have known Jesus had not sorrow led them to seek comfort in Him.

Our heavenly Father is never unmindful of those whom sorrow has touched.

Never was David dearer to the heart of Infinite Love than when, conscience smitten, he fled for his life from his enemies, who had been stirred to rebellion by his own son. “The Lord says, “As many as I love I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore and repent.” Revelation 3:19. Christ lifts up the contrite heart and refines the mourning soul until it becomes His abode.

When tribulation comes upon us, how many of us are like Jacob! We think it the hand of an enemy, and in the darkness we wrestle blindly until our strength is spent and we find no comfort or deliverance.

The blessed Savior stands by many whose eyes are so blinded by tears that they do not discern Him.

Keep the heart stayed upon Jesus and meditate upon His loving kindness all the day. He will lift the soul above the daily sorrow and perplexity into a realm of peace.

The Lord has special grace for the mourner, and its power is to melt hearts and win souls. His love opens a channel into the wounded and bruised soul, and becomes a healing balm to those who sorrow. (See 2 Corinthians 1:3,4)

“Blessed are the meek.” Matthew 5:5

Jesus places meekness among the first qualifications for His kingdom. In His own life and character the divine beauty of this precious grace is revealed.

Through all the lowly experiences of life Jesus consented to pass, walking among the children of men, not as a king to demand homage, but as one whose mission it was to serve others.

There was in His manner no taint of bigotry, no cold austerity. The world’s Redeemer had a greater than angelic nature, yet united with His divine majesty were meekness and humility that attracted many to Himself.

Human nature is ever struggling for expression, ready for contest; but he who learns of Christ is emptied of self, of pride, of love of supremacy, and there is silence in the soul. Self is yielded to the disposal of the Holy Spirit. Then we are not anxious to have the highest place. We have no ambition to crowd and elbow ourselves into notice; but we feel that our highest place is at the feet of the Savior. We look to Jesus, waiting for His hand to lead, listening for His voice to guide.

No storm of human or satanic wrath could disturb the calm of Jesus’s perfect communion with God.

Jesus says to us, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you.” (John 14:27) “Take My yoke upon you, and learn of Me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest. (Matthew 11:29)

Happiness drawn from earthly sources is as changeable as varying circumstances can make it; but the peace of Christ is a constant and abiding peace.

The spirit of hatred and revenge originated with Satan, and can bring only evil to him who cherishes it.

Lowliness of heart, that meekness, which is the fruit of abiding in Christ, is the true secret of blessing.

“He will beautify the meek with salvation.” Psalm 149:4

The meek shall inherit the earth. It was through the desire for self-exaltation that sin entered into the world. It is through self-abnegation that Christ redeems what was lost. And He says we are to overcome as He did. (See Revelation 3:21)