LIV

LORD, HOW OFTEN SHOULD SOMEONE SIN AGAINST ME AND I FORGIVE THEM? 7 TIMES? JESUS SAID TO HIM, I SAY NOT 7 TIMES, BUT 70 X 7 TIMES.

(MATTHEW 18:21, 22)

SEVENIA SALLIE (GIRL PROPHETESS)

My dad pulled me aside with a look of anguish on his face as he ran a hand through his dark hair. “I shouldn’t have had you do this interview.”

“What do you mean? Why?”

“For one thing, I don’t like you discussing ‘Fifty Shades of Grey.’”

“Dad, if anything, this discussion with the Griffin’s is only gonna make me less inclined to read something like that.”

“You mean you’re somewhat inclined to read something like that?”

“No, not at all,” I laughed. “I’m just saying.”

My dad and I went back and forth for a couple minutes. I had been in the midst of an interview with Jack and Jill. They were a couple whose marriage had survived a long love triangle. I must have reassured Dad that the graphic content would remain at ethical levels, because we resumed recording.

“Jill,” I began. “You were saying that if you hadn’t developed a habit of reading sexually explicit books, you don’t believe you ever would have entered into an adulterous relationship. Would you mind explaining?”

“Not at all,” she replied, even though she seemed stiff and uncomfortable as she forced a smile. “I had never really been the flirtatious type. I had never been the type to dress all that sexy. But even the year before my affair with Will began, I had started to wear tighter and more revealing clothes.”

“Jack,” I said. “Did you notice these changes in Jill during this period?”

“Well, like they say, hindsight is 20/20,” Jack said with a forced chuckle. “I noticed, but I actually liked what I was seeing. During the time she was indulging her secret hobby, she was also exercising like never before. Our intimate life increased to the frequency that it was when we were newlyweds. Even when she was in the midst of her affair, I was somewhat oblivious. Once again, in hindsight, I was in denial. I choked up her behavior to feeling healthy, rather than, um, feeling amorous.”

“So, how long was it after you started working for Will before the affair began?” I asked Jill.

“It was probably three or four months before we were physical for the first time,” she replied. “But flirtations began right away. It was subtle at first. He would simply compliment my looks and I would thank him with a sultry smile. Then his compliments slowly became more suggestive.

“He would verbally admire specific body parts. Instead of discouraging him, I would giggle, smile seductively, or even make my own suggestive comment. Then he began touching and groping. The me from a year previous would have slapped him and quit on the spot. But the new, naughty me encouraged him by rubbing up against him instead. It wasn’t long after the touching began before we kissed for the first time. Once we kissed we, ah, what’s a tactful way to put this?”

“There isn’t one,” Jack said somberly as he stared at the table, and I could see his jaw muscles tighten.

“I think we get the point,” I said, laughing uneasily. “So how long was the affair a secret, and what brought it out into the open?”

There was an uncomfortable silence for a few seconds. Keep in mind we were recording an interview. So a few seconds felt like a few minutes for me as the hostess. I was about to say ‘I am sorry if that was too blatant of a question’ when Jill thankfully spoke.

“It was secretive for about three years, because we were careful and not as frequent as you might imagine,” Jill said quietly. “We weren’t alone often, but we always waited until we were. But then we eventually began to get reckless. There was even an illicit thrill with being careless. But then we got caught by Will’s wife in an extremely compromising position, and it all came crashing down.”

Jill took a deep breath and sighed. She began to stare off into the distance and appeared to be holding back tears.

“Jill woke me up at three in the morning very distraught,” Jack said. “She was crying and her mascara was smeared around her eyes. At first I thought there had been an accident, or somebody had died. Then I spotted her purse on the nightstand. I saw a foot of her pantyhose dangling out and I instantly knew what was going on. I was actually relieved because I knew that whatever happened to make Jill so upset, it meant her affair must be over.”

“So you actually did know Jill was having an affair with Will?” I asked.

Jack sucked in a deep breath and looked at the ceiling. “I did and I didn’t. I had plenty of clues to indicate she was. But I was also in denial. I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt.”

“Can you tell us some of the clues, or is that too personal?” I asked.

“The biggest clue was on the days she closed at the bar. In the beginning, she would get home about 2:30 am. Then it became 3:00, then 3:30 and 4:00. Also, I discovered her books of erotica in a drawer. I figured if she was reading about sexual adventure, she was probably partaking of her own.”

“Did you ever think about confronting her?” I asked.

“No, I have occasionally looked at porn, so I couldn’t very well chastise her for reading it.”

“Actually, I meant confronting her about the affair,” I said, hoping I wasn’t blushing.

“Oh, sure I did. Yet I didn’t want to appear the jealous husband.”

“Can you explain why you actually felt relieved when you pretty much had it confirmed that your wife was romantically involved with another man?”

“Well, like I said, because it also appeared to be over. Then through her sobbing, she confessed everything. Even details I didn’t really want to hear.”

“How did you react to her confession?”

“He couldn’t have been more loving,” Jill whimpered. “He hugged me, told me he forgave me, told me he wanted to get our marriage back on track. He wiped my tears. We even made love.”

“But if I’m doing my math correctly, this wasn’t the end of the ménage a’ trois, was it?”

“No,” they said in unison, both shaking their heads.

“So how long did the reconciliation last before the affair resumed?” I asked.

“A few months,” Jack said. “We were even going to marriage counseling.”

“What happened?”

“I was still in love with Will,” Jill said, and then looked apologetically at Jack. “And absence made the heart grow fonder for both Will and me. I also missed the illicit thrill of our, um, escapades. The lust and desire was like some kind of drug.

“Then Will and his wife separated after she filed for divorce. He wanted me to move in with him. Even though I still loved Jack, what I had with Will was newer and fresher. Well, that’s the way I saw it at the time. So, I did the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. I told Jack I was leaving him. It ended up being the biggest mistake of my life. I’m so sorry, Jack.”

Jill began sobbing. Jack rubbed her back. and I looked at my dad. He whirled his hand to keep recording. I thought about shaking my head, but looked at Jill. It appeared to be a brief shower of tears.

“Jack,” I said gently. “Would you mind telling us how you responded to this?”

“I was devastated,” he replied somberly. “I was never much of a drinker. But within the hour of her saying her last goodbye, I headed to the store to buy a bottle of Jack Daniels. My mantra was get drunk, get divorced. Get drunk, get divorced. Then a song by Sting came on the radio. He sang that if you love somebody, set them free. Free, free, set them free. Free, free, set them free.”

I almost started laughing at the unmelodious way he spoke the lyrics. But I had it under control until I looked at my dad. His head was bowed and his shoulders were jiggling. I looked away quickly as I clenched my stomach to hold in a burst of laughter. I spoke abruptly to avert my mind and to stop Jack from speaking anymore lyrics.

“So did this song have a profound affect on you?” I asked.

“It did,” he replied. “I realized I still loved Jill despite her treatment of me. I knew she still loved me, and that the woman that married me was still there deep down in her heart. I thought maybe if she lives with him for a while, she’ll see that the grass isn’t necessarily greener on the other side.”

“If I would have only known,” Jill said sadly as she shook her head.

“So instead of getting a bottle of whiskey,” Jack continued. “I decided to go see a guy I met through work. Billy Bob Booker is his name, and he experienced his fiancée’ leaving him for another man. He too forgave her, and took her back.”

“Yes, I read his story in the e-book by Johnathan Embers,” I said.

“Right, Billy Bob Booker and the Hooker,” Jack replied, nodding. “Just think. If his fiancée’ hadn’t left him for another man, Willa, the hooker, might never have come to the Lord.”

“Amen,” I responded, as Jill replied with an amen of her own. “So did his story and friendship inspire you?”

“It did. It showed me anything is possible. I also decided that I would not be the one to dissolve our marriage. I also decided that I would remain faithful to my wedding vows, even if my wife hadn’t.”

Jill hung her head in shame. I felt bad for her, yet I had no words of comfort in the moment. I needed to just proceed with the interview.

“Jill, I noticed you said if you had only known when Jack mentioned he was waiting to take you back,” I said. “What did you mean?”

“Within a month of living with Will, I knew I had made a terrible mistake,” Jill replied. “Not that I was necessarily miserable. But it wasn’t like living with Jack. Maybe I should say I simply liked living with Jack better. Before I lived with Will, I idealized him. But my fantasies didn’t live up to realities.”

“So why didn’t you repent and ask Jack to take you back?” I asked.

“Well, Sevenia, I had already badly hurt Jack by the initial affair,” Jill said. “But Jack found it in his heart to forgive me. When I actually left him to shack up with Will, I figured I had completely burned the bridge back to him. Even when I considered approaching him, I felt too ashamed.”

“Okay, so now you two are quite reconciled,” I said with a smile. “So what happened?”

“Well,” Jack grinned. “For the next three years I went to church with Billy Bob Booker. I didn’t date or hook up with other women. I grew up in a  nominally Christian household, but for the first time in my life I became spiritually reborn. As hard as Jill’s infidelity was to accept, it taught me to depend on God rather than another person. Until Jill left me, I didn’t realize how dependent I was on her for my happiness and contentment.”

“How about you, Jill?” I inquired. “Tell us about the previous three years and your reconciliation with Jack.”

“It wasn’t worth it,” she said emphatically and sadly as she shook her head. “It was bad enough hurting Jack to satisfy my lusts of the flesh. What I stupidly didn’t anticipate was how negatively our kids responded to my behavior. Although I still managed to maintain a relationship with them, their disappointment and disrespect was palpable.

“Anyhow, Will ended up proposing as we were enjoying a romantic get away,” Jill said and then glanced uneasily at Jack. “I was caught up in the moment and happily said yes. During the three years I lived with Will, he only asked if I filed for divorce a couple times. After I accepted his proposal, he insisted I file within the week.

“In the days after accepting Will’s marriage offer, I was beyond regretful. Not only for saying yes, but for leaving a good man three years earlier for a cheat and a selfish slob. Don’t get me wrong. Will had his charms, I wouldn’t have fallen for him if he didn’t. I guess it took almost ruining my life to see that Jack was a diamond and Will was cubic zirconia.”

Jack smiled and humbly bowed his head.

“Okay, so how did you two reconcile then?”

“Our son called me with the news that Jill and Will were engaged,” Jack said and then sighed. “Not long after I talked to him, Jill called and asked if she could come and see me. I told her of course, and thought, well, this is it. She’s coming to present me with divorce papers or something.

“When she arrived on my doorstep, she took my breath away. Her hair was held back with a clip, just the way I liked it, and she was in a dress she used to wear to church back when our kids were little. I invited her in and we exchanged awkward small talk for about five minutes. Then I couldn’t stand it anymore. I asked her if she had something for me to sign or anything. She got wide eyed and almost looked frightened. That’s when she threw me a curve.”

Jill giggled. “I told him that I hadn’t filed for divorce yet. He asked me why I wanted to see him then. I told him that before I filed, I wanted to ask him why he had never filed. He told me he always held out hope that I would come back to him. I asked him if he meant even now after three years. Without hesitation, he said even now after three years.”

Jill pinched the bridge of her nose and began to whimper. Jack rubbed her back, and she put her face in her hands and cried.

“I wanted to make love with him right then,” Jill said. “But he told me I needed to end things with Will first. So I went back to what I considered home for three years and threw Will a curve. I told him I had changed my mind. I gave him his ring back. I also told him Jack took me back.

“He threw a fit! We argued, and he almost hit me. This told me all I needed to know about the only two romantic partners in my life. Jack never even raised his voice due to my shenanigans. Yes, I knew I hurt him and he was disappointed. This hurt me too, but not enough to stop my selfish desires. Yet he forgave me! I then went back to what I had called home for more than twenty years, and that’s where I plan to stay until death do us part.”

“Jesus said in Matthew 6:14,” Jack said. “That if you forgive people their trespasses, your heavenly father will forgive yours. Without the love and forgiveness of God in my heart, my love and forgiveness for Jill wouldn’t have existed. Therefore I wouldn’t be experiencing this fresh start.”

Jill wiped a tear before she spoke. “If Jack wouldn’t have exhibited this extreme act of love, patience, and forgiveness, I wouldn’t be experiencing my own spiritual revival right now. I would have ended up yoked with a man that was my legal husband, but not truly my spiritual husband. Or even an okay husband if he was tempted to hit me. Thank God his Son intervened in Jack’s life! And as a ripple effect, mine as well as our kids!”

“Amen!” my dad and I said at the same time.